Self

Florida Spa Offers "Wife Daycare" For Men Sick Of Being Husbands

Photo: Kzenon / Shutterstock
FL Spa Offers "Wife Daycare" For Men Tired Of Being Husbands

Because wives are such important people to their husbands, it’s time to think about how to show your favorite woman out there just how much she means to you. But sometimes, you just need a little break.

While for some that might mean taking her to dinner, buying her flowers, or making her breakfast in bed, for others it means shipping her off to daycare, or to “wife daycare” to be exact ― because who wants the woman they love and the mother of their children messing up their Sunday?

Seriously.

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A spa in Viera, Florida went above and beyond the call of duty and created the ultimate spectacular by offering a wife daycare to any man in the area who just really needed to take a break from being a husband for a moment.

The flyer, which was sent out in the mail, mind you, not only advertised their wife daycare but it also pointed out that if you “want to go golfing, relax, boating” or “have silence,” then “drop her off with us (with your credit card!).” 

In addition to this offer of taking your wife off your hands, the flyer also pointed out that “mudd [sic] pies are great ... but spa days are better,” which was actually code for, “your wife thinks your kid is annoying and would really like to quit pretending to be interested in everything he or she does.”

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Call me old fashioned, but I’d much rather choke down a delicious mud pie my non-existent child made than step even one block in the direction of this spa. At least the mud pie only insults my palate, not my, well ... everything else.

I’m all for jokes. I actually, contrary to what one might think because feminists aren’t funny and all that, have a great sense of humor. In fact, I’ve already laughed today ― twice ― but what I don’t find entertaining is 1) The infantilizing of women, 2) Gender stereotyping, 3) Having my taste in mud pies questioned, and 4) Being silenced.

I know it might seem like crazy talk, but that just doesn’t sound like fun to me. At. All.

While I can see the attempt here, because jokes, the execution on the part of Essentials Medispa and Salon was all wrong. I’d even go so far as to say that it was messed up and they maybe should have contacted their publicist fast, because yikes!

There is no set rule as to how one should treat their wife, and if giving your wife or mom a day at the spa is the one thing that’s really going to make her week (or year!), then do it. But if it comes at the hands of insulting everything a mom and wife stands for, then it’s probably best to skip it.

I realize it might not get you the silence you’ve been craving, but you win some and lose some. And this Florida spa lost so bad that they deserved a medal for such atrocious idiocy.

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Editor's Note: This article was originally posted in May 2015 and was updated with the latest information.

Amanda Chatel is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle and Glamour, with bylines at Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post, and others. Follow her on Twitter or Facebook for more.