Love, Heartbreak

8 Ridiculously Petty Fights I've Actually Had With My Husband

Every couple argues from time to time. There are the standard arguments every marriage faces and then, well, there are random tiffs that start out ridiculous but end up turning into legitimate, full-blown fights. I'm not proud of that fact but I'm pretty sure anyone who's ever been in a serious relationship can agree sometimes the strangest of things can spark an argument. It doesn't mean you don't love your spouse; it just means some things get under your skin.

I'm not ashamed to admit that my husband and I have had a few of those arguments over our years of bliss. Hopefully you can learn from (and laugh at) some of the most ridiculous things we've argued about over the years. Enjoy!


Whether Daniel Day-Lewis over-acted in "Lincoln."

My husband is a movie critic so when I told him I thought Day-Lewis was over-the-top, he lost his sh*t. Somehow this simple comment turned into a diatribe about method acting and some other stuff that I'm not sure about because I stopped listening.
This is STILL a point of contention in our marriage.

Winner: Neither of us and definitely NOT Daniel Day-Lewis

Whether or not it was appropriate that he was hungover the day we were supposed to construct a backyard wall.

My dear husband decided to overindulge himself in $1 shots the night before the construction of the wall so that morning when his family came over to help, he was vomiting everywhere, behaving like a vampire who couldn't see even the smallest glimmer of light. Meanwhile, I was watching his family dig holes and construct a wall. It was hard on both of us. To this day I can't look at that wall without cursing the bar for serving $1 shots on a Friday night.

Winner: Me. I wasn't the one throwing up.

Whether I should've taken his boss's side in an argument.

This did NOT go over well especially since I could tell that he was expecting me to pound my fists at how horrible his boss was. Instead, I told him he was the one acting like a child and he needed to grow up. As you can imagine, that didn't go over well.

Winner: Me. He realized the next day I was right and apologized (to me and his boss).

Whether the movie "Noah" was the most boring thing ever.

Okay, I realize maybe my husband and I shouldn't watch movies together given how often they instigate arguments (See #1.) Lesson learned. But this particular fight happened because my husband didn't follow my simple movie rule: I won't watch a movie that's more than 90 minutes unless it is insanely amazing.

This movie, my friends, was long but not insanely amazing. It was insane, but not amazing. I bubbled with rage for 2 hours so the car ride home was less than enjoyable, much like the film.

Winner: No one, as we both had to endure the film.

Whether his favorite stuffed chicken recipe had cream cheese in it.

My husband is a picky eater but he often doesn't realize he eats those foods he says he doesn't like; they're just not readily obvious. So one day when he saw cream cheese in the refrigerator and asked if it was in his favorite stuffed chicken recipe, I evaded the question until he actually got mad about it.

Then he wanted to know what other recipes might have detested cream cheese in them. It was not a fun afternoon.

Winner: Me. There's totally cream cheese in that recipe and the victory is sweet every time I make it.

Whether we would have been friends/dated in high school.

I was on pom squad and student council and was fairly popular in high school. Meanwhile, my beloved was in theater and show choir. I maintain that as a senior I probably wouldn't have been attracted to a scrawny kid in stage make-up wearing a glittered vest. This legitimately infuriates him every time this issue comes up and much like the Daniel Day-Lewis argument, is one best left alone.

Winner: Him. He snagged a girl 3 years older than him despite his jazz hands.

Whether he or I will give the dog a bath.

This might not sound like a horrible task but one of our dogs has a bit of a problem. Let's just say if he was a person, he wouldn't be a good wiper. Thus, giving him a bath is less than desirable and always requires lots of Lysol. This argument is ongoing and we've been known to keep tallies as to who has done this task more.

Winner: No one is a winner when a dog has this problem.

Whether or not I would be seen with him in his hideous pair of new shoes.

Yes, a pair of shoes. No, they weren't mine. One day my husband brought home a new pair of shoes and was super-excited about them. Unfortunately, as soon as he took them out of the box I gasped in horror because they were hideous. Hid-e-ous.

What's worse is the price-tag was just as bad. We argued over whether I would be seen with him in public sporting these kicks and it got a little heated. We agreed to ask a few of our most fashionable friends and that we would be bound by their decision.

Winner: Him. Our friends clearly have no taste in footwear.