
The men of Tinder and reasons I swipe to the left (to the left).
By Carolyn Castiglia — Written on Aug 29, 2014

Oh God. Tinder. I'd heard people talking about it for months - before I even had an iPhone - and it sounded horrible! A dating app that forces you to make a snap judgment about a person based on a few pics alone? Gah! That seemed like a terrifying exercise in cruelty, one that I was glad I was avoiding. I'm such a hippie dippie dork and I'm not really into guys for their "hotness," so I'd decided before trying it that Tinder was definitely not for me.
Then I got an iPhone. And I still didn't download the app, though I did start to think about it. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, I thought. Friends were using it and having fun with it, going on dates they were actually excited about. Men and women alike seemed to be pretty into it, so when my friend grabbed my iPhone and downloaded Tinder for me out of exasperation, I figured I should go for it. (Because #YOLO. You Only Love Once. All the rest is online dating.)
"You just give them an X or a <3?," I asked her as we started to look through my digital dating prospects. "You can't save them for later and anguish over your decision? There's no 'I sort of like you but I'm not sure' button? YOU HAVE TO HEARTLESSLY REJECT SOMEONE'S FACE?!" Yes, she said. You have to heartlessly reject someone's face - OR - click that tiny heart if you think they're cute and you might be a match. "Can they see if you swipe right?," I worried, as we swiftly sifted through their pics like headshots at an open call audition to decide who would make the cut. "No," she said. "Only if they like you, too. Just do it."
The first one who popped up was a really muscular guy with a sweet smile, I rated him with a heart. That is not the kind of guy I normally connect with, but there was something about him I liked. HOLY SHIT HE LIKED ME TOO! The Tinder screen bounced with that crossing circles graphic they use to let you know it's a match, and I was instantly hooked. There was only one problem, though: I hated swiping left.
I am not a huge fan of receiving rejection, and I don't like to dole it out, either. It's hard to say no in such a harsh way to a vulnerable person's inner-self without feeling mean (and wracked with guilt). Even if they don't know it! I think there should be a way to acknowledge the humanity of the person behind the photo before you just toss them into the burning fire pit that is the Tinder "no" pile. I've started thinking of 'swiping left' as a means of tossing a fish back out to the sea to simply find a more appropriate mate, rather than some kind of cold, hard denouncement. I sometimes like to say why I am moving beyond someone in the Tinder stack out loud (to myself) to cast a sort of blessing on their journey toward love and divine contentment. Here are some examples of the prayers I have bestowed upon my fellow online love-seekers as I gently caressed their faces, like Beyonce, to the left. Captions above, photos below: