16 Worst Things About Drunk Sex

woman
Contributor
Self, Sex

We are all familiar with this list, even if we won’t admit it.

Okay, who among us hasn't had the occasional round of drunk sex? Don't lie. It is a bit of a dating fail. There's no shame in it, though there are some things that can really suck. And here they are, all organized and categorized for you enjoyment!

The massive mistake that is the drunken-shimmy in a bid to get his attention.
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Making a spectacle of yourself at the bar as you make your intentions clear by groping him in front of all your friends (who are doubtless taking pictures to show your future children).
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Feeling each other up in the cab, and totally not caring that the driver is ogling you.
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Trying to cover that you've just sprained your ankle making the eight-flight trek up the Mount Everest that is his walkup.
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Throwing up in his bathroom on the sly.
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Or not.
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Imminent injury caused by random objects, like a stray shoe … or kitchen table.
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The fumbling. Oh lord, the fumbling. It's like your clit disappeared, for all he knows.
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Realizing that you have no idea where he keeps his lube, and hoping for the best (because you're too drunk to just ask).
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Getting to the big moment and realizing he has whiskey dick. Womp womp.
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Waking up next to a stranger (or worse yet, a friend/colleague) and realizing that you need to sneak out now or risk the most awkward morning-after conversation ever.
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Tripping and waking him up anyway.
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Hesitating for a moment with your bra and heels in your hand like a deer in the headlights, before tearing ass to the nearest subway stop.
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The walk of shame.
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Explaining to your girlfriends what you did the night before over Sunday brunch, and having to put up with the sniggers.
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Knowing that somewhere out there, he's with another guy and this is going down:
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