Here's How You (Yes, You) Can Get Christian Grey In Your Bed

Contributor
Self, Sex

 

As you can imagine, Fifty Shades of Grey sparked a lot of creepy stuff — from fan fiction to props that even seasoned BDSM enthusiasts wouldn't know how to handle. But the latest Fifty Shades merch may be the creepiest: the Christian Grey teddy bear.

Vermont Teddy Bear is behind sales of the grey Grey bear. He's got Grey's bright blue eyes, a suit and tie, an eye mask and handcuffs. And just to reiterate, it's a teddy bear. A stuffed animal originally designed for children. Can't you imagine some slightly out-of-touch grandpa inadvertently ordering this for a kid? Awkward. Awkward.

Obviously, this was probably designed as a Valentine's Day present for adults, but we can't get past how sad the poor guy looks. Maybe because he doesn't have shoes. Or maybe it's his mommy issues.

At best, it'd probably be a gag gift from one furry fetishist to another. And for $90 (yes, $90), it better come with keys to an Audi.

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