7 Times You Should Say "HELL NO" To A Date Before It Even Starts

Are you seeing red flags before you even meet in person? Maybe you should just ... not.

shocked woman

I've made a lot of mistakes while on first dates. There's that clumsiness that seems to find its way onto the table and knock over a glass, or my unfiltered mouth leads me into off-limit conversation territory where I find myself in heated arguments over things like ObamaCare and my feelings on Governor Christie. But thanks to power of the Internet and our TMI-posting and texting generation, I've also ended (or just ruined) first dates before they even began.


If you know just a couple things about a person, you can learn a whole lot about them before you even step foot in their presence for the first time. Things like when their last relationship ended, what summer camp they went to, and even what they dressed up as for Halloween. You can also find more important things like if they've been arrested or made headline news or even if they are, surprisingly, still in a relationship.

Here are 7 things that made some date-goers say "NEVERMIND" to a date before it even began:

1. They were recently in the news — and NOT for a good reason.



Nothing like a visit to the slammer to put the kabosh on a date. "An hour before I was supposed to meet a guy for a happy hour date, I decided to Google search him. To my surprise, I found pages and pages of articles about him getting arrested recently for a fight he had with his ex-girlfriend. That was a deal breaker and I canceled the date." — Jen Saccarmo, 28

2. They are already dating someone.



One incredibly reasonable requirement for your first date? That they're actually available! "I saw on Facebook and Instagram that a guy I was going to meet for a date was in pictures from this same week kissing another girl. Maybe they were not in a relationship, but knowing that he was romantically involved with someone else just days before our date was weird and something I didn’t want to waste my time getting involved with." — Fannie M., 22

3. They party a LOT. 



Partying on social media doesn't just turn off college admissions and employers – if you're not into the party atmosphere yourself, then they are probably going to drive you crazy. "I saw on Facebook that he went to a lot of raves and clubs and that's not my style. I'm more into someone who is a homebody and doesn't drink a lot because I don't like to drink." — Sasha P., 31

4. They aren't exactly friendly when you text them.



Nothing screams 'red flag' like a mean text before you've even met. "If someone has a negative attitude or is rude to me over text messages before we’ve actually met, that means they are too much drama and I have zero interest in actually going on a date with them." — Alegra S., 20

5. They text you WAY too much.



It may be time to tell them to put down the phone if they are driving you nuts before you even meet. "If a girl is texting nonstop, it's a huge turn off. We haven't even met in person yet, save your life story for then. If I learn more about you before I meet you, I lose interest." — Sam K., 33

6. They lie about, well, ANYTHING.



One way to destroy a meet-up with your online match? Saying you're anything other than what you really are. "My online date, who I was so excited to meet, flaked out of our plans for our first date. He called the next day to apologize and said he had a "mission." I asked him about his job (because he ignored it the first time I asked) and told me he was a secret agent, giving me details about where he was going and what he'd be doing. Why on earth would a secret agent reveal this to an online date?" — Trixie, M, 26.

7. You mistake them for someone else.


Thank god for Google-stalking; just make sure you get it right. Sometimes the blame shifts to you if you fail your online stalking duties. "I made a big mistake once and canceled a date with someone because I thought he was someone else. When I Googled his name I assumed he was the first person who popped up. A friend later showed me who he really was and I felt so bad. I guess you can't fully trust what you find online." — Marissa Quince, 29