How To Support Your Significant Overcome An Addiction

Relationships aren't always all about the "honeymoon" phase. Coming together to share your life with another individual means being introduced to their good and bad qualities. Dating someone who is dealing with an addiction is a huge obstacle that many would run away from. However, when you truly love a person it is natural to want to become their rock and support system to overcome it.

When most people think about the word "addiction," hard core topics like drug or substance abuse often come to mind. But the reality is that virtually any activity or interest can develop into an unhealthy habit. It may not be easy to recognize the symptoms right away that someone has an addiction but once identified, it is important to confront the issue head on.

Unfortunately, as partners with good intentions, we tend to go overboard when it comes to the process of overcoming an addiction. There is a right way and a wrong way to show support for a significant other who is trying to kick their bad habit, whatever that habit may be.

Below are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to playing a role in helping a partner overcome addition and get on the road to recovery: 

Don't Be Dramatic

Nothing will make an addict retreat into their shell more than a partner who is overbearing, dramatic and too confrontational about what they're doing wrong. Instead of long lectures and listing infinite reasons why they shouldn't be doing what they're doing, a more effective approach is to be calm and rational when communicating your concerns.

Discuss the matter with your significant other and acknowledge the fact that you want to be there for them and help them get better but also emphasize that it is up to them ultimately to help themselves. Using this type of approach will be more likely to get them on board with facing their addiction and doing something about it.

Help Find Alternatives

When people become addicted to things like alcohol or smoking, it is often hard for them to quit the behavior because they've been relying on it as an outlet or coping mechanism. It is crucial to understand that quitting these bad habits cold turkey isn't impossible but it is extremely difficult. Too many times partners trying to show support believe that if their significant other does what they do, it will solve everything.

Trying to get through to an addict is about more than simply saying, "Do what I do and you'll be fine." Overcoming an addiction is a behavioral challenge. The best way to curb their natural instinct to reach for a drink or a smoke is to replace those options with healthier alternatives. This could include things like going for a walk/jog together, playing sports or even talking things out if there is something bothering them.

Dating a smoker who is trying to quit? There are plenty of alternatives to help them kick the habit, including the nicotine path/chewing gum and even products like electronic cigarettes (sold at any number of online retailers like Newhere.com), designed to wean smokers off the real thing over time. Modifying addictive behavior isn't like turning a switch off and on. It is a gradual transition that takes time to successfully overcome. Placing unrealistic expectations for your partner to meet is one of the fastest ways to hinder any progress.

Patience is a Virtue

Perhaps the most difficult part of being the support system for someone who is battling an addiction (large or small) is the fact that results don't happen overnight. Not only is the road to recovery long, it also includes the occasional setback. When setbacks happen, this isn't the time to go into parental lecture mode. Show compassion and reinforce the level of your support to show your significant other that they should stay on track towards progress.

Don't Forget to Take Care of Yourself

Helping someone with an addiction is a draining endeavor physically, mentally and emotionally. This is certainly true when the person you're supporting is a person you love dearly. However, your source of support won't be as effective if you aren't also tending to your own needs. Don't allow this process to slowly consume you.

Schedule "me time" often and don't feel bad about participating in activities you enjoy or spending time with loved ones when you're not with your partner. Don't neglect the importance of proper rest and a healthy lifestyle.

If necessary, join a support group for people who are in the same role as you. Just as addicts have groups they can join, so do those in the position of seeing addicts through the recovery process. Connecting with others who have been or are going through the same situations as you can help immensely when it comes to overcoming the tough times successfully.