Guys reveal what it really means to take one for the team, so your buddy can live the dream.
By Tiffany McHugh — Written on Sep 20, 2013
In lieu of National Singles Week, online dating megasite Zoosk surveyed over 2,300 singles to get some perspective on what makes a quality wingman. Some of the highest scoring wingmen characteristics included trustworthiness and an ability to "fill in holes in the conversation."
We polled guys to see what makes the ideal single man's partner in crime, and we couldn't help but giggle at the results. We're on to you fellas …
Just Go With It:
Remember that time the two of you had that crazy Project X-esque rager last year? No? Well, if your friend is going on about it — you were there, and it was epic … even if it didn't actually happen. It's not only crucial to talk him up, but equally important to back him up … no matter what, according to Ryan, 24. "Talk up your dude, and go with anything he is saying." C.J. agreed with this one as well. "Always go with what your friend says, no matter how crazy the story sounds."
Chill With The Drinks:
According to Chuck, 23, the worst thing a wingman could do is get wasted. "Don’t get sh*tfaced to the point where your friend has to stop hitting on his conquest and take you home." Since your duty as a wingman is to help your friend seal the deal, there won't be much sealing going on if he's in a cab with you, and his girl is getting hit on by other guys at the bar. You booze, you lose…both of you.
Talk Your Boy Up … Within Reason:
This one was a pretty unanimous response from almost every guy I interviewed. "It's important to talk your buddy up, but not too much to the point where he can't live up to the expectation," said C.J., 21. So while it's cool to drop hints that your friend is totally doable, there's no point in deeming him with an artificial UFC championship title — he's going to look stupid, and you're going to be in the dog house.
Don't Pounce:
There she is — your buddy has spotted her across the bar, and he's going to go for it. Should both of you wander over to her at the same time? Probably not, according to Kenan, 22. "Never converge on the same girl," he said. "Two dudes rolling up to a girl randomly would be a little too much." Also, remember that being a gentleman goes a long way. "Above all else (as goes for any courting situation), don't be too aggressive. Neither you, nor your boys are going home with any phone numbers if you don't keep the respect level high."
Play It Cool:
Ernie, 24 cautions his wingmen to stay cool in front of the girls he's trying to hit on. "A friend of mine does this all the time. If he sees me talking to a hot girl he'll try to show off for her which in most cases ends up embarrassing both of us and ruining my chances." Chuck is also wary of his friends blowing up his spot in front of his prospective girl. "Whatever you do, don't say any embarrassing stuff that you'd usually say when you're hanging out with your friend."
Know When To Shut Up:
"Don't be the center of attention," said C.J. "You'll be drawing her interest towards you and not the person you're wingman-ing." Dave, 38, agrees that it's not cool to over-do it by stealing the limelight. "There comes a point in the conversation where you have to think to yourself 'My work here is done,' and walk away.
Know How To Handle Her Friends:
So you've done your job. Your friend looks like an all-star and his girl is giggling and hair-flipping all over the place … so now what are you supposed to do with her (potentially irritated) friend? The feedback on this one actually surprised me. I expected most guys to see it as their "wingman duty" to hook up with the girl's friend, even if he wasn't originally into her. Turns out, the whole "take one for the team" responsibility doesn't always hold true. "You do have to occupy her friend, so she doesn’t become a cockblock," says Ryan. "But you don't have to hook up with the friend just because your dude is hooking up with a babe. My job is to keep her entertained until my man accomplishes the objective … not necessarily to get with her."
Girls Make Great Wingmen:
Er…wingwomen? Either way, this was another overwhelmingly unanimous response. "Girls make great wingmen," said Chuck. "When two guys approach a girl, it can be overwhelming. When another girl is around, the girl you're hitting on is more comfortable, and also sees that you're not a douche because you have female friends." Jason, 25, seconded that opinion. "Would you believe a guy or a girl more if they were talking up a friend?" he asked. "When a girl talks up a guy, it sounds way more sincere." However, Carrell, 24, cautions, "A girl can't seem too pushy about it though, because they she makes both of you look crazy."
What do you think it takes to be a great wingman? Tell us in the comments below.
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