Why Aren't Stay-At-Home Moms More Respected?

No, Vanessa Bryant wasn't "shootin' in the gym" with Kobe. She was busy raising their two children.

Vanessa and Kobe Bryant

We wouldn’t normally list Kobe Bryant in the “ideal husband” category, but the NBA superstar pulled out his good guy card when he recently defended his wife against a social media slam.

So, what happened? Back in 2011, Vanessa Bryant filed for divorce after a decade of marriage and the news inspired rapper Drake to comment in his song "Stay Schemin'" that Vanessa shouldn’t walk away with a mountain of Kobe’s money because "...you wasn't with me shootin' in the gym."


Fast forward to Jan. 28 when Kobe tweeted a photo of his and Vanessa’s Starbucks order, only to have someone reply, “but..... #SheWasntWithYouShootingInTheGym.”

Standing up for his wife’s decision to stay at home and care for their two daughters, Kobe fired back, “no, she wasn't. She was busy raising our kids #nonanny #respectmothers.”

Drake has apologized for the offensive lyric, however Vanessa took to her Instagram account to vent, “I don't need to be in the gym. I'm raising our daughters, signing checks and taking care of everything else that pertains to our home life … This is real life. I hold down our home life so my husband can focus on his career. It's a partnership.”


Well said, V. YourTango expert and author Teresa Maples echoes Mrs. Bryant, “Vanessa invested her time and energy into raising children instead of having a paid job. Kobe supported and benefitted from Vanessa’s service to their family.”

In fact, without Vanessa’s domestic dedication, it’s likely Mr. Shootin’ in the Gym couldn't brag about those five NBA championships. “We all have a limited amount of energy to give in any particular day. If a person is worried about his/her home life, it robs them of giving their full attention and energy to their job,” Maples continues. “Any successful person has people who take care of tasks for them. We hire a CPA to do our taxes, celebrities have personal assistants to take care of the daily tasks of living so they can focus on their specialty.”

So in 2013, why aren’t stay-at-home mothers valued as equal to their income earning counterparts? “Our culture has been and continues to be a ‘good old boys club,’” Maples further explains. “The evolution of equality is still happening today. Men still make more money than women even with similar job descriptions … What could be more honorable than to invest time, energy and nurturing to children?”

YOUR TURN: If Vanessa and Kobe divorce, should she get half?   


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