Self, Heartbreak

A Painful Death.

BY    Hope Kumor

It's a painful day as the clouds roll in.   It's not a sunny, happy day.

It was 10 years ago today on my younger brother's 7th birthday. The two clash. Today represents two things, a life and a death. The death of a 6-year boy who never got a chance to live, as well as my younger brother's birthday. We are still in mourning. When this day comes, I always brace myself on the events that will occur on this day. It is heart-wrenching to think that a little boy lost his life. I had to witness him on that table laying there stiff and cold. I was 11 years old at the time and didn't understand death as much as today. The next few weeks were unbearable as there was a viewing and funeral. That was the first time I saw my father cry and it terrified me.

At the funeral, my cousin sat next to me, leaning on me with tears in her eyes. I held back. I wasn't allow to cry. I can't show any emotion in front of anyone. I hold it in because it's a private moment with myself. I only show that side of myself on rare occasions, but it almost never comes out in the open. I'm not good with death and I can't deal with others that are close to me leaving this earth without any good byes. I never got to say goodbye to Eddie, my dear cousin. His name was all over the news, in magazines and on the internet because of his story. The boy who got the thumbtack stuck in his throat was a popular story in 2001. His dad was interviewed and was on the news.

It was BIG.

We head to the cemetery on this day and hug one another. But, then it's over. Everyone leaves Eddie. It only lasts for about an hour, but I can't let anything go, especially my cousin Eddie, who was one of my favorites. He was such a sweet boy. Everybody loved Eddie Ness. He was a quiet, shy boy who behaved very well. On this day, we celebrate my younger brother's 19th birthday. It's a complicated day, but we must deal with it. That's life I hear. You have to move on, but I can't, it's too hard and painful. It hurts so bad and will continue to in years to come. But, we have to be happy for my younger brother because after all, it's his day. It's his time.

Have you ever dealt with a death that was so painful that you wanted to die yourself?

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I love you Edwin Joseph Ness :]