Things That Make You Undateable

Avoid ruining your first date with these common mistakes

Written on Sep 17, 2011


If you're having trouble finding that special person to love or even just have some fun with, you may need to examine how you act on a first date. A first date is generally the deciding factor of whether a person is disgusted or intrigued by you. Here are some things that you may be doing wrong:

1. Talking about your ex. No one wants to hear about your horrible breakup or lingering communication with the guy or girl you dated for the past five years. Opening up about your ex is fine down the road - during the obligatory "tell me about your past loves" talk that boyfriends and girlfriends have - but blurting it all out on the first date just signals emotional baggage. If you're not over your ex, don't attempt dating until you've seen a therapist.


2. Getting extremely drunk. Of course having a couple drinks softens the awkwardness of a first date, but getting bombed just makes you look sloppy and emotionally unstable.

3. Being too cheap. A guy who doesn't tip well at dinner is hopeless; the way he treats waiters is likely a direct reflection of how he will treat you in the relationship. Remember, 20% is the standard.

4. Being too emotional. A first date is not the place to reveal your psychological scars. "It all started when my dad left us when I was 6..." is a real downer. If there's no leather couch, you're not allowed to cry or puke out your sad little story. Smile frequently, and avoid being a Debbie Downer at all costs.


5. Acting like an FBI agent. Don't interrogate or interview your date. This is just plain uncomfortable and makes the other person feel awkward and violated. Keep the conversation light, listen, and don't ask an extreme amount of questions. "So where are you from? Where did you go to school? What is your degree? Where do you work? Do you like working there?" Blah blah, booooooring. It's nice to ask questions about the other person, but don't just skip frantically from one question to the next. Let the conversation flow, and don't be afraid of a few silent pauses.

6. Being a pretty, pretty princess. I don’t care if you only eat organic. Make an exception if he takes you to a nice restaurant (unless you have an allergy or other health restrictions). Even if the venue isn’t your favorite place, at least pretend to have fun. Gazing out the window with a dramatic, sullen look on your face makes even the hottest girl look hideous.

7. Playing on your cell phone. When my boyfriend and I go to dinner, I turn my phone off (and we’ve been together two years). So the least you can do on a first date is make a good first impression by not answering your phone at the table or playing Angry Birds during dessert.