Sex

Surviving An Affair: 3 Emergency Steps To Take Right Now

When you first learn about an affair, you feel like a hurricane just passed through your heart. Surviving an affair usually means dealing with awful emotions like grief, anger, frustration and losing most of your self esteem.

What you need when you first discover about an affair (right after your heart starts beating again)—is some emergency intervention.

You may not have the mental strength and energy to do anything right now, but you need something that will help you take the first step and save your marriage fast, before you decide to do things that you'll regret later.

Here are 3 tips to surviving an affair—to help you process your feelings and start healing immediately after you find out about the affair.

Tip #1: Let the Cheater have It

Communication is everything. Right now, though, you are not capable of patiently and calmly tell your partner how this makes you feel. That's normal. Your world was just shattered completely. So...let him have it! Get your emotions and feelings out there, in an open and honest way. You can shout and scream, but just avoid talking about divorce and calling him names you might regret later. And of course—violence is never an option.

Not doing this and burying your feelings inside will make you resent your partner even more later, causing more damage to your marriage. 5 Words That Will Save Your Marriage

Tip #2: Cry and Cry Some More

Crying is the only way your body physically deals with extreme emotions and feelings. There is nothing wrong with crying, nothing that should be hidden fro others and nothing to be ashamed about. Don't fight the tears. Let them come and clean you from the inside out.

We are designed in a way that if we really want to deal with difficult emotions, we have to confront and get in touch with them. Stuffing the tears back is no good and will cause more emotional problems later. Let the pain out!

Tip #3: Let Your Feelings Come and Go Without Interrupting

Surviving an affair in the long run means you have to let your emotions come and go naturally. At first it feels like the pain is too much to bear. With time the pain subsides. This might feel weird to you, because giving up the painful and angry emotions makes you feel like you've given up, or that you are not taking this trauma seriously. This is not true. Let you feelings come and go without interference. When you feel pain-free, let your self feel free. Flow with it and enjoy it. Don't force them back; you don't have to wallow in your pain!

Bonus Tip: Here's What to Do Next

Of course, there's a lot more to surviving an affair than these emergency tips. In fact, these initial steps only begin the first step of the healing process, both for you and for your marriage.

Next, Go to How-to-Save-Marriage to find out the next steps to save your marriage after an affair - Right now!

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!