Sexually: Telling Your Mate You're Unhappy

Keeping the lovemaking and passion alive in the bedroom is ideal


Telling your partner you are unhappy with your sex life could be one of the most difficult conversations you may ever have to discuss with your significant other. You may have even git plenty of thought, opting to remain silence. Afterall building a successful sexual foundation requires work, just like maintaining a job. Developing key strategies such as, communication, consistency, commitment and compromise could be a great start to regaining your intimate connection.


Communication is an essential part to preserving any relationship, being able to be transparent with your partner while addressing pertinent issues.   Author’s of “Tantric Sex for Busy Couple” Richard and Diana Daffner suggests, non-verbal practices can be very healing for many couples that encounters problems within their relationships. Having foreplay is an excellent way to re-ignite and rev up the love engines.

 Keeping the lovemaking and passion restricted to the bedroom is ideal, try not to ever hold any essential conversations in romantic areas of the home. so find another place outside of the house to conduct  dialogue about serious topics. .Meaningful discussions should never contain“blame”, however it should include positive solutions. Diana Daffner says an excellent way to break the ice would be to use a good opening phrase like, “Would you be willing to… “ describing what you want from your mate.


Consistency – the ability to maintain constant communication and works towards rebuilding a better sex life by reconnecting emotionally. If there is something new you would like to experience with your mate, let him know about your new discoveries and your willingness to share it with him. Bare in mind, your partner may not hit the mark the first time or may require more direction in pleasing you physically. Patiences would be highly recommended in rebuilding your fragile emotional bond.

Author Eden Sterlington, says,” Conversations need to be ongoing.” Don’t lie about your level of gratification; tell the truth about how you feel. Be honest, especially if your partner is asking whether you are being fulfilled sexually. Rejuvenating a strong sexual relationship may entail more touching or pushing the envelope to find new ways to create excitement and pleasure. Having an open-mind is a great start to the possibilities of reconnnecting to potential marital bliss.

Commitment – remaining dedicated to doing whatever it takes to keep the relationship active. Remember your vows?  Until death do you part.  Are you both committed to working together as a team instead of leaving the resolution to the other partner. There is never a reason to says, “I’ve done all I can and now it is his turn to make things better.”  It is absurdity for a couple to hold one partner responsible for an entire relationship. It's this type of thought process that needs to be revised.  Get in there and show your spouse you are still committed to relationship. 

Debi Einmo said she sets an appointment with her boyfriend when they were experiencing poor miscommunication in their relationship. Debi says, she gave her boyfriend a two-minute briefing and does something typically uncommon of herself. She listens in silence to his response, which after 3 months they were able to regained some of their romance back.


Compromise – the ability to find a happy median without feeling you were ignored for your input or disrespected for your views. Mikaya Heart advices, start the conversation with something like, "you know, if you were willing to give me this, there is something I would REALLY like you to do . . ." If he is doing something you don't want, say, "I know this may sound strange to you, and perhaps I'm kinda unusual, but I would prefer it if you xyz . Be prepared to offer your mate options instead of making “the talk” all about you.  Acknowledge your partner for trying to accommodate your request by giving him or her words of encouragement. If your partner is lacking confidence in the bedroom, the more praise you offer the better results you may obtain.

Roland Hinds, Relationship Coach and Author: "Are You The Right One For Me? Whose Choice Is It Anyway?" new release ISBN: 978-0-557-23843-9. A self-help book geared towards readers who are in need of creating healthy relationships. Hard copies of the book can be purchased directly from Roland Hinds Media.



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