Love, Self

Relationship Fail: Mushy, Gushy Couple Nausea On Facebook

Relationship Fail: Mushy, Gushy Couple Nausea On Facebook

We hate to do this to you so early in the week, but someone needs to point out the grave Relationship Fails that are happening all over Facebook — and may even be popping up in your News Feed as we speak. 

We're talking about that couple who just can't seem to keep their hands off of each other... or their Facebook statuses out of their relationship. Just take a look at J and K (but before you do, you may want a paper bag handy):

(Seriously, if you didn't use your paper bag, can we borrow it?)

Unfortunately, we've had to read this shameless exchange more than once, and trust us, it doesn't get any sweeter over time. Relationship Fail: I'll Hire You To Be My Christmas Party Date!

This isn't like someone's birthday, when your well wishes don't really count unless you write them on their Facebook wall. This is the day-to-day of your relationship, and contrary to what you may believe, no one wants to read about how you both feel you are the "luckiest," "prettiest," or "most gorgeous" beings that ever existed.

Save that nonsense for when you're in person, far, far away from anyone who might be able to hear you. And for your own sake, learn some other adjectives so that your sentiments sound at least a little more substantial and different. "Wait, I thought you said I was the prettiest?"

If you find an example of a particularly annoying, funny or weird thing that couples or singles post online—whether it be on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Craigslist or another site—we'd love to see it! Send your submissions to You won't regret it, but the offending person will!

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