Do You Feel Obligated To Have Sex? Experts Say Most Women Do

Most women don't have time for sex these days. Are you one of them?

woman holding clock

Readers, it is with great sadness that we ask you to bow your heads in mourning for the sex lives of women everywhere.

This moment of somber silence was brought to you by the results of HealthyWomen's WomenTALK survey, which found that 66 percent of women are engaging in sexual activity once a week or less. Even worse, a natural desire for the passion of a good romp between the sheets isn't the driving force behind these ladies' sex lives; rather, obligation is the reason behind their intercourse. About Libido - Sexual Desires


But why the lack of passion-driven love-making? HealthyWomen sought the expertise of board certified psychiatrist Naomi Greenblatt, M.D., who cited a lack of time as a reason for the lack of nookie: "There seems to be a growing trend in women having sex for obligation, not enjoyment purposes. Women say there are only 24 hours in the day, and they simply are not prioritizing sex." 

Additionally, while 63% of survey respondents reported that connecting with their partner is the most important aspect of their sex life, only 42% said they were "very or extremely satisfied" with the connection aspect of their sex lives — suggesting that women value connection but don't seem to be able to achieve a level they're satisfied with.


Now, this is a sad and unfortunate truth that directly affects our libido. But intercourse is good for more than just an orgasm; several health benefits are associated with an active sex life. Regularly engaging in sexual activity can decrease stress levels, strengthen pelvic muscles, increase immune system function and — pay attention, dieters — burn calories. According to Dr. Greenblatt, sex can also be a "fountain of youth." In her research, "Women who had sex at least four times a week were scored as looking up to 10 years younger than their actual age." Now that's an added perk!  10 Reasons Being In Love Feels So Good (And Makes You Prettier, Too)

With all the health and other benefits associated with sex, why are women feeling obligated — rather than compelled — to make love? Well, lack of time really does get in the way. Good sex may be the ideal, but it's currently not the reality, thanks to work, social lives and other daily to-do's that get in the way.

But perhaps knowing how beneficial a daily dose of intercourse can be to our health (and probably our sanity), women can now start to prioritize sexual activity. Rather than making the bed every morning, why not opt for a quickie instead? And if a lack of time is really the problem, multitasking may be the answer — we're thinking these types of shower shenanigans. Whatever works, but let's all vow to make time for passion, so no more moments of silence need to be held for women's sex lives. Make time for each other

Have you ever felt like you don't have enough time for sex, so that it turns into an obligation?