How To Have Slower, More Sensual Sex

Why slowing down in bed could help your sex life.


If you want to make sex a more sensual experience, slow down. Take your time. Banning the quickie from your sex life will have a startling and sensual effect, taking your lovemaking to the next level.

Slow sex isn't about endurance, marathon sessions or complicated positions. It's about really being there in the moment, enjoying one another fully. It's about taking the time to touch and to kiss. The point isn't just to have sex, but rather to feel real sensual joy.


"It's mutual pleasuring, not purposeful foreplay," Barry McCarthy, a clinical psychologist and coauthor of "Rekindling Desire," explained to Ladies' Home Journal. Sex is not a commodity. It is not supposed to be time-efficient.

Create a bedroom that is a sanctuary for slow sex. Move the television to another room. Turn off the telephone. Shut down the computer. Give full attention to your lover. Install low-level romantic lighting, even if it's just a carefully-placed nightlight. 

So what do you do when you slow down for "mutual pleasuring"? Try the following:

• Deep, lingering kisses
• Teasing with your fingers and mouth
• Touch that is by turns tender and erotic


While these may include orgasm, that is not the point. Instead, it's about building desire and intimacy.

Slow sex means learning how to give one another great pleasure. It is a soulful, intimate expression of your love that will make sex far more sensual. It will deepen your emotional, psychological and even spiritual bond with your lover. A quickie can't compete with that!

As Mae West said, "Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly."

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