Community: Is It Cheating If You're On A Break?

shadow of couple holding hands behind sheer red curtain

We've had a lot of people here on Cheat Confession( ponder this age old question. Here are mythoughts. Generally speaking, and I am not in your relationship or inyour bedroom, "taking a break" means splitting up with the hopes ofreuniting should both parties be inclined to do so in the near orfar-off future. The romantic relationship would be thought to resumeonce both parties enjoy some time apart to soul search and to findthemselves without the burden of a relationship. It's all about distance= perspective. Where that greater perspective leads the both of you isyet untold. In other words, it means you are single; at leasttemporarily.


That being said, your commitment to one another is on hold, perhapsjust for the time being, perhaps indefinitely. If you are on hiatus fromone another you should be free to explore what the single life has tooffer, and to really take some much-needed time apart to figure out ifyou want to continue on your journey together, or if you want to keepon trucking solo.

If a relationship hasissues that just don't seem to be getting resolved through constantefforts at communication, and both people feel like they are hitting awall, then sometimes time and space is the best gift that you can giveto one another.  As you selflessly give that gift to your partner, youcan also give yourself the gift of sewing some oats and exploring whatthe world has to offer, and yes, that includes sex.


Cheating, by definition,is one person in a relationshipbetraying the commitmentand understanding of trust that both partners have agreed upon. If theunderstanding has changed or amended in some way, then it is not fairto label the actions of the other as "cheating." The trick isdefining what that break means to each of you and being extremelyspecific about it (verbally, not in your head). One exception to thisrule might be if both people decide they are taking some breathing spacefrom the relationship, though they agree to remain sexually celibateduring this time, until both people come to a decision about the statusof the relationship. Ascliché as this sounds, doesn't this all come down to communication?

If you suggest a break from your significant other so you can go findsomeone who will do something in bed that yourbf/gf/wife/husband/whatever would never do, and you are just going ontemporary "leave" in order to legally cheat, those antics arequestionable my friend. It's not the army. There are no day passes. Thatis cheating, not becauseyou are having those urges, it is because you aren't sharing them withyour partner, but seeking your satisfaction elsewhere under the guiseof needing a temporary break to sort things out.

If you've tried in vain to share your freaky fetishes with yourpartner, but to no avail, then you may be dealing with a case of sexualincompatibility, and then you may want to move on to a relationship that bettersuits your sexual lifestyle.

Other examples of when asking your partner for a break are just plainshady:

  • The summer is coming up and I want to get my groove on
  • There is someone else I really want to bang
  • I'm going on vacation and will be in a different zipcode/country/etc.
  • I want to see if I've still "got it" and can get laid(seriously?)

If you and a significant other do choose to take a break have a frankdiscussion about what that break means and does not mean and agree onthe terms so that you can proceed with a clear head and a clearconscience.

If you are contemplating one of the four bullet pointed examplesabove, then my response to you would be, "Don’t be a douche," and yourgf/bf/spouse will probably wind up on this site complaining about yourdouche-y ass.

So what do you guys think? Is it cheating if you are on a break? Andwhat constitutes a break in your opinion?

"Just Telling Like It Is";