The Hair Down There Was His Deal Breaker

body hair grooming shaving razor

He mentioned that she should groom "down there." But was that just an excuse for him to split?

Tobey* was the perfect guy to date right after my divorce. He was cute, fun, and had a body like a gymnast. He was younger than I was, but not too young. He liked the same things I did: eating good food, going to the movies, and strolling around Manhattan. He was a great kisser and even better in the sack.

Then he told me I needed grooming.

Not just any grooming. Down there grooming. The Frisky: The Hair Down There

We had met at a speed dating event. I didn't notice anything special about him at first. Our three-minute conversation was a blur. I told him about the novel I was writing; he told me how he had just quit his job to go to school full-time. But as I moved on to my next partner, who for several seconds said nothing and stared at his hands, I caught Tobey's eye, and he smiled. Suddenly he was cute.

The next morning I was happy to open my email and find that we were a match.

On our first date we ended up making out in a bar on the Lower East Side. Our second date I invited him up to my apartment. Maybe I was moving too fast, but I didn't care. After a tough breakup, I wanted to let my hair down. The Frisky: Manscaping—What Are Your Grooming Dealbreakers?

Which, I discovered over the next few weeks, wasn't Tobey's thing. In all the times we got busy, he had ventured south maybe twice.

I didn't care too much. After all, we were just beginning to know each other. One night I mentioned it jokingly, and he said, "I don't mind doing that at all. If a woman is well-groomed."

I sat up. Well-groomed, as opposed to, say, me? The Frisky: Real Life Relationship Dealbreakers

"I don't mean bald," he said, as though that would clarify things. "Just—well-groomed."

If you haven't already noticed, I'm Chinese, which means, genetically, I'm not that hairy. I definitely have hair. I'm a healthy, full-grown woman, not a 12-year old girl, but I'm not exactly hirsute. So if Tobey didn't mean "bald," then what did he mean? The Frisky: MERRIme, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating