Secrets Of The Male Mind: Ogling, Emotions And Sex

being a man
Contributor
Love, Self

We like to think of ourselves here as forward-thinking, independent women, who can stand toe-to-toe with any man even on the most horrendous of hair days. But like most women, perhaps since the beginning of time, there are still some things about the brawnier sex that leave us utterly perplexed. When it comes to relationships, many of us still feel like men are from a different planet entirely. Are Gender Differences A Myth?

Well maybe your mom was onto something during those times when all she had to say about your father was a grumbled, "he is such a man".

But thanks to the brave work of Louann Brizendine, M.D., who boldly went into parts of the male brain we only speculated even existed, we now have definitive proof what of we have always suspected: men's brains are just, well, different.

Why, we all seem to ask, do they always seem to zone out when we tell them about a bad day? And better yet, why do they say that they can't get enough of us and then stare longingly at the next barely-dressed stranger to pass him by like she's a piece of meat? Women's Bodies Make Men High, Literally

According to Brizendine and her book The Male Brain, it's all in his head, and he is NOT alone.

A key into the male psyche? Hooray!

Well, as you can probably imagine, we could barely put our copy of the book down. After all, there are some questions that even we don't know the answers to.

Take, for example, his seeming lack of emotion about things that leave you in tears.

Studies of men's faces show that the male brain's initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female brain's. But within 2.5 seconds, he changes his face to hide the emotion, or even reverse it. The repeated practice of hiding his emotions gives men the classic poker face. It's his poker face and his analytical response to personal problems that can put him in the doghouse. She's crying as she talks about what's wrong with the relationship, and instead of hugging her, his mind is racing to find a way to resolve the problem as soon as possible.

Perhaps his confused, blank stare really is just the result of him trying to figure out how to help? Well that changes a few things, and certainly makes us reconsider more than a few fights we've been in.

Now, we know you must be thinking, what could possibly be the justification for his wandering eyes? Brizendine refers to this nearly universal phenomenon as "The Male Trance," the glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. A natural reaction, she claims, that cannot be helped. Scientific Study Finds Men Like Looking At Breasts

I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods.

If you're anything like us, this was particularly hard to stomach. Regardless of whether or not he can help himself, watching your man ogle some hot young thing will never be easy. Taking this into consideration, Brizendine suggests that men need to learn to be more subtle about surveying their surroundings. And ladies, there is nothing wrong with reeling him in, if tact isn't one of his strong suits.

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With sex leading the male mind just about every minute of every day, how should the single women of the world handle sex during a new relationship? Well, according to Brizendine, you should take it slow. If you withhold sex for at least a little while during the beginning of a relationship, she says, your potential partner is more likely to consider you as a long-term mate.

She goes on to say that the process of initially withholding could torment, if not cause outright pain, to a man. Unlike women, who need to feel the promise of love before having sex, most men want sex first. In the basest way, to a man, she writes, winning the mating games means getting his DNA and genes into the next generation.

Sex doesn't always lead to love, but for the male brain, it is a necessary part of getting there.

We are animals, after all. For men, sex is not only a driving force in pursuing us, but the drug that makes him stay. During sex, a man's brain produces chemicals that create a sort of high. After a while, his body and brain become addicted to the rush of pleasure that makes it hard for him to be without us for too long. Eventually, his love and lust circuits merge. And that, ladies and gentleman, is what we call real love. 

What do you think? Does the male mind really function so differently from a woman's? Respond below.

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