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Is "The Man Rack" a dealbreaker or not?
By Melissa Noble — Written on May 01, 2015
While we won't dash the subtle sexiness of slight androgyny, it's pretty safe to say that certain stereotypically male and female traits should remain with their original sex. Namely, boobs on women, NOT men. Thanks.
It was comforting to read that fleshy gentleman with cups that runneth over are hightailing it to the surgeon's office in greater numbers than ever before. While they could certainly diet and pump iron, the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons reports that the number of male breast reductions are on the rise.
While rhinoplasty ("nose-job") and blepharoplasty (surgery on the skin around the eyes) don't rank in the top two of male procedures, more men who might fill out a Victoria's Secret B-cup are taking action (at least in England).
It's nice to see that we aren't the only gender with a love/hate relationship with our mammaries, but perhaps the most amusing part of the article is how one "consultant plastic surgeon" blames glossy magazines for this upswing in male self-consciousness. As if a Men's Health cover should take full responsibility for dudes finally noticing their breasts.
We'd be lying if we said we hadn't experienced the joys of moobs. A dark night followed by the morning sunlight on a bedmate who's a touch more out of shape then we'd remembered, or a fantastic personality that we trick ourselves into thinking will cloak such imperfections, have all led us down the path of The Man Rack. Regrettably so.
A quick little poll among our female friends has us all nodding in agreement: We will take a beer gut or receding hairline over man breasts any day of the week:
- "I can't stand moobs! Dealbreaker! Let's just say I don't have the largest breasts and if his even come close to mine, I just want to cover up and send him home." -Janet, 32, single
- "Beer guts actually don't bother me too much. An overly chiseled guy sets off more red flags (are they gay?) then one who lets himself go a bit. But man boobs? No way. You have to be pretty big for that." -Lauren, 30, single
- "I use a pretty standard rule of thumb when it comes to moobs. If I can see an outline of anything that would even remotely look like man boobs, I stay far, far away. There are just some things men shouldn't have." -Alex, 30, single
- "I'm not wild about short guys or men with receding hairlines, but I'll take both of those options before a guy with moobs. Absolutely. Ugh." -Samantha, 27, in a relationship
So, it seems unanimous, but what's troubling about these men running out for a quick little nip and tuck is that inevitably their sloth-like lifestyle will cause them to sprout tits once again.
Get thee to a treadmill! Prevention is cheaper and less painful then the cure, fellas.
