By barboraknobova — Written on Nov 25, 2009
Female
friendship is tricky. It can be very deep and very honest but also very
treacherous and even toxic. Nevertheless, I very much believe in the importance
of female friendship and its bond, and it shows even in my books. I think women
should stick together and back each other up. They shouldn’t be competitive,
envious, jealous and malicious. They should rise above their petty disputes
because their power is in female solidarity and loyalty.
friendship is tricky. It can be very deep and very honest but also very
treacherous and even toxic. Nevertheless, I very much believe in the importance
of female friendship and its bond, and it shows even in my books. I think women
should stick together and back each other up. They shouldn’t be competitive,
envious, jealous and malicious. They should rise above their petty disputes
because their power is in female solidarity and loyalty.
Well, in
a perfect world all this would be true but what about the world we live in? How
to deal with the doubts, questions and insecurities brought about by the
complex labyrinth of female friendships? And how can you know that your BFF
(Best Friend) is your RF (Real Friend)?
1. She is
there for you. Now I don’t mean small talk over a cup of latté every
other week or shopping together for vintage clothes. You know that your BFF is
your RF when you can dial her number at two in the morning to ask for help or
to simply cry on her shoulder and she won’t be bothered by your late night
call. She is there for you when you need her most because she is sensitive to
your moods, to your words and gestures and she knows you so well that she can
see something is wrong. Your BFF is your RF when your friendship is based
on absolute and unconditional trust.
2. She is
happy for you. We all have our ups and downs. Sometimes we are on
top of the world and sometimes we hit the rock bottom. You know that your BFF
is your RF when she is happy for you even if her life is not going as well as
yours. She doesn’t envy you, she’s generous and your happiness is also hers. Your BFF
is your RF when your friendship is based on mutual empathy.
3. She
tells you the truth (even if it hurts). We all make mistakes but
sometimes we don’t want to admit them. And sometimes we don’t even want to be
reminded of them. You know that your BFF is your RF when she’s not afraid to
tell you the truth, no matter how harsh it is and no matter how much it may upset
you. Your BFF is your RF when your friendship is based on straightforward
honesty.
Now let’s get back to the three paragraphs and have a
look at the last sentences:
Your BFF
is your RF when your friendship is based on absolute and unconditional trust.
Your BFF
is your RF when your friendship is based on mutual empathy.
Your BFF
is your RF when your friendship is based on straightforward honesty.
Unconditional trust. Mutual empathy. Straightforward honesty. The three pillars
of female friendship. Look for them if you are not sure whether your BFF is
your RF.