4 Simple Ways To Get An Ex Completely Out Of Your System Forever

Here's how to get him out of your heart, and your life.

By Melissa Noble — Last updated on Jun 22, 2023

Photo: Velimir Zeland/ Shutterstock

Maybe the relationship started off awesome. We don't doubt it. We're sure it traveled on an idyllic path for a hot minute or two, full of butterflies and starry-eyed evenings of dragonfly walks along the beach. We bet it did.

But then it inevitably faltered and you probably stuck around longer than you should have after the breakup (you did, didn't you?). It was tough, but now you're finally out.

But it sort of sucks. All the good memories keep infiltrating your mind like sweet-smelling second-hand smoke. Instead of wallowing, here's how to get over your ex for good. And it all starts with removing him from your life and forgetting about your relationship.

Here are 4 simple ways to get an ex completely out of your system forever:

1. Make a "bad quality" list

It sounds corny, but sit down and write out all the things you don't like about said person. Be as shallow as you want. Nobody except you is going to read about your secret disdain for his/her fashion deficiencies, chicken legs, and less-than-stellar vocabulary.

Write the big stuff, too. The time he/she was rude to your cat, how he/she always seemed to stare off into the distance when you talked, how he/she sat in their underwear all day Saturday and played video games. Write it all.

And then whenever you get weepy-eyed about that romantic walk in Central Park eight months ago, just revert to the list. You'll be shocked at how quickly you won't reach for your cell phone.

2. Don't jump into dating again so quickly

When you start to get all squishy and needy inside, it may be tempting to cut and paste. You know, go out and date the first breathing organism that sits next to you. Don't do it.

Nothing (and we mean nothing) is going to get you running to your ex quicker than a soured romance by someone you were just using to get over them. Spending some time alone and hanging with your friends is just another way how to get over your ex.

3. Write a "bad emotions" list

Explore the terrible; please don't juxtapose it with the wonderful. Make a list of how horrible you felt during the low times. Use logic. Sometimes we need logic.

Make a cause-and-effect type list, as historians do for the onset of world wars. He/she said this, which made me feel like this, which is why we broke up. Viola. While you've probably talked this into the ground, it sometimes helps to see it in writing.

4. Wear a rubber band around your wrist.

This is very, very self-helpy in a group therapy, pink, fuzzy kind of a way. We know. But it works. It probably isn't apparent now, as you're too far down the rabbit hole of unhealthy obsession, but you'd be horrified to know the number of times he/she pops into your head on a daily basis. Hell, in an hour.