Community Blog: 5 Tips For Apologizing To An Ex

Written on Nov 15, 2009

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You may need to be able to say I'm sorry if you really want to get your ex back. Or are you wondering why you need to say that you are sorry? After all, doesn't it take two to argue and fight? Unfortunately a pattern of arguments causes a lot of resentment and bitterness. You need to wipe the slate clean if you want to have a prayer of starting over.

It's not really about who's right and who's wrong. If you are fair when you look back you should be able to see some things that you should apologize for. Although saying that you're sorry sounds easy, a sincere, heartfelt apology takes some thought and effort. After all, you want your ex to know that you mean it, or you might as well not bother.

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5 Ways to make it impossible to ignore and hard to resist your apology.

1. Be prepared - don't rush into your apology. Think things through and have a plan for what you are going to say. Word things in a way that will make your ex realize that you put a lot of thought into your apology. 

2. Be sincere - realize in what ways you were wrong and be ready to confess them. You will be surprised at how relieved you will feel and hopefully some of those negative feelings will begin to dissolve. 

3. Never say "but" - This word is used when you want to put part of the blame on someone else. Your whole apology will be worthless if you say it and it will undo any good your apology has done up to that point.

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4. Do not argue - When your ex doesn't joyfully accept your apology right away, don't argue about it. They may need some time to see that you do mean it, after all things got bad enough that they broke up with you!

5. Make positive changes - Follow up your apology with working on changing your negative behaviors. You need to take action to show that your words meant something.

Your goal is to convince your ex that you are on their side, which is the whole meaning of the apology. You should agree with their decision to break up and let them know you are working on things. This can really make a difference to them if they feel like you are listening to them and care about their concerns. So, don't put it off since making a sincere, thoughtful apology is one of the most important things you can do to get your ex back.

Are you wondering if your ex still cares? Find out the signs here: 5 Signs Your Ex Still Cares.

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