Self

9 Need-To-Know Rules For Football Season

football season

It's football season, people! I'm psyched to see USC take on Notre Dame tomorrow. I'll be watching with my family, at home in San Diego. The last time I watched football with a guy (youknowwho), he said I needed to do a better job of keeping track of who had the ball. So I decided to ask a few of my guy friends how a woman should act when she goes with a date to a football-watching party. Jason, Ross, Pete, and John all had a lot to say about this matter, so I'm glad I asked! The art of watching football is serious business, girls. Here are their tips for appropriate behavior on Game Day:

1. DON'T WEAR A PINK JERSEY "A jersey isn't necessary unless you are a true fan. If you're wearing a player's jersey, you should know a lot about that player. T-shirts with team logos or colors are fine. Do not put your own name on a jersey unless you are under the age of 10. Don't wear pink versions of jerseys, T-shirts, etc." —Pete, 29, Dallas

2. KNOW YOUR REFRESHMENT OPTIONS "Drink beer. Out of the bottle. Solo cups are acceptable. Out of the can, not as hot."—Ross, 31, Burbank, CA Beer Goggles Exist
"Really, the only acceptable drinks are beers, and the only acceptable beers are Coors, Miller and Bud. Do NOT drink wine."—Pete

3. CHOOSE A SIDE WISELY "Root for a team you actually like, not simply the one I happen to like. If you grew up in Philly but you are rooting for the Cowboys because I like them, I'll think you're not really interested in football and/or you’re a traitor to your city."—Pete
"Root for whomever you like but not because their uniforms are cute. Have a favorite player or coach or something (but if it's because he's cute, keep that to yourself)."—Ross

4. DO YOUR HOMEWORK "Before you show up, you should know who is playing, who are the quarterbacks for each team, what each team's record is (or just generally if they are good or bad this year), and if there are any big news stories involving players from either team. This really isn't hard, just read the preview article on espn.com before the game."—Pete

5. PAY ATTENTION "While watching the game, you should know what the score is, who has the ball, what quarter it is, etc. Most of this information should be somewhere on the screen at all times."—Pete

6. ASK QUESTIONS…DURING COMMERCIALS "It's okay if you don't understand why a penalty was called or why the handsome quarterback man immediately threw the ball into the ground (to stop the clock), but ask at the commercial break. If you ask enough questions early on, by 4th quarter you should have a pretty good idea of what's going on and dudes will feel like they taught you something."—Ross Fast Cars Make Dudes Manlier
"Guys like to teach you about the game, so ask him to explain how the rules work. Learn to watch the game the way he sees it. It might not make too much sense at first, but your understanding will grow as more pieces of the game are revealed."—Jason, 30, Phoenix

7. RESPECT THE SPORT "Do not criticize. If the rules don't make sense at first, don't give the 'that's dumb' response. The rules are there for a reason, and the decisions made by the coaches and players usually happen based off the rules. It is important to be open to learning the rules, and being dismissive is a turn-off."—Jason

8. EASE UP ON THE TRIVIA, CLIFF CLAVEN "Unless you're watching figure skating, never try to upstage a guy with sports trivia knowledge. I had a friend with a girlfriend that would constantly spew out stats like, 'Did you see so-and-so? They passed for 300 yards last week!' It was annoying—girls shouldn't try too hard to be one of the guys. Just show interest, cheer when appropriate, and it never hurts to offer to go get beers."—John, 30, San Diego

9. SHOW OR FEIGN INTEREST "If you become bored during a game...FAKE IT! There's nothing more annoying to me than when a girl pulls out her BlackBerry and starts checking Facebook."—John Fake It Til You Make It, Ladies
"The best way to make yourself more attractive to a guy while watching football with guys is to appear to be a legitimate fan. You're not watching the game just to meet guys, or because your friend dragged you there, but because you like football and know something about the game. Basically, be comfortable and look like you're enjoying yourself and the game."—Pete

Now, tell us: Do you watch football? With whom? Are you a die hard fan or a novice? What do you think of these rules? And why is it so hard for me to keep track of the ball? The ball is tiny!

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