Love, Heartbreak

5 Signs You're Ready To Call It Quits

Many therapists/self-help gurus/women's magazines, etc. may disagree with us, but we don't think deteriorating relationships are that elusive. Honestly, we're firm believers both parties are aware when a dating scenario isn't working. We're sure of this. Yet, rather than serve the relationship a swift beheading, many allow their boyfriend/girlfriend status to die a slow, painful, terminal-illnes type of death. Relationship Advice: Everyone Is A Little Jealous

As the Tao Te Ching very wisely advises: "Know when it's time to stop. If you don't know then stop when you are done."

Well, if you're having a hard time figuring out the "done" part, look no farther than the below for a few telltale signs. If you check yes to even one then we'd harbor a guess you're as done as a Thanksgiving Day turkey.

1.) You Cringe When They Call

Remember when he/she first called on that dreary Tuesday? Suddenly your headache morphed into rainbows and glittery unicorns. It was the second best thing to a religious experience—a head rush of magical endorphines, if you will. Well now the phone rings and your lip curls into a grimace. You press 'ignore.' You guilt-trip yourself into calling back and conduct a lazy chorus of "uh huh" and "hmm." Sound passioniate? Sexy? No? Well that's because it isn't.

2.) Cleaning Is Suddenly More Important

Sure, you could grab dinner and spend the night at so-so's, but have you checked out that bathtub grime? How can you leave the house when the kitchen floors are this dirty? The laundry isn't going to do itself and you must scrub the stove later. Cleanliness fetishes aside, if reorganizing your winter clothes and wiping out the odds and ends drawers seems more productive (and fun) than laughing (and sleeping) with your significant other, than it's time to say sianora.

3.) You Self-Sabotage

You've often thought marriage and monogamy are overrated. You know what else? You hate children. Pets, too. And somehow you find that Sunday brunch is the perfect time to discuss all of this. Oh, and that specimen over there, the one in the blue shirt?  Gorgeous. You suddenly feel the need to openly check out their body. Gape even. For several minutes. Sound familiar? If yes, then you're self-impaling, my friend. You're hoping to come across grotesque so the other person can do your break-up dirty work.

4.) Sex Sort Of Turns You Off

Suddenly you have early morning meetings and a newfound dedication to a.m. workouts. There are late-night book clubs to attend, cleaning marathons (see #2), netflix, and obsessive tweeting. You're also just super tired and feel kind of sick. In fact, you'd be fine if the sex just didn't happen at all tonight. Or tomorrow. Or even next week.

5.) You Start Looking For Replacements

You're 100% certain that dark-haired hottie who camps out at the Xerox machine does it because you get coffee at the same time. The sandwich maker at Subway was checking you out, no? How come you never noticed your tasty friend's cousin? Let's just facebook message that old co-worker you've always thought was hot. See what happens. Maybe they'll want to check out that Bruno movie this weekend. Just platonically, of course....

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