Love, Self

3 Secrets To Exuding Sexy

woman smelling flower

Sexiness is not about your dress size. It has nothing to do with your zip code either. And don't even tilt your head a tad at your hair color, length of bangs or shoes in the mirror. Nope. Your sexual appeal, writes Lori Gottlieb in the July issue of Self magazine, has everything to do with the vibe you're giving off.

So brush away any dust that's settled on your sensual side with our three favorite tips from Gottlieb and her West Coast pals. Isn't it time you get back in touch with the fox in you?

1) Stay Playful. Whatever you do, however and whenever you do it, give yourself permission to act goofy at least once a day. It's our favorite tip from Gottlieb. So easy and so clear. But wait, you're a mature, working grown-up. Tell us, when was the last time you blew bubbles from a plastic wand, flirted with a handsome stranger on your morning commute, pulled a ventilated jar from your purse and caught fireflies, or strapped on a pair of rollerblades and glided through the night? There are hours that call for seriousness and responsibility, but during the time in between, make it play time. That authentic sense of wonder, adventure, wow-never-done-this-before feeling will help unwind that buttoned-up adult in you just long enough to let your youthful, sexy glow poke through.

2) Recall the 5-Senses Rule. Gottlieb writes that becoming attuned to your body is crucial to sexuality. She's talking sensuality here, what our friend Webster aptly describes as "gratification of the senses" or "the indulgence of appetite." Ok, pop quiz. Your five senses. What are they? No thinking. Or peeking. Just listing. (We admit this exercise took us longer than we would have liked.) Sight. Sound. Scent. Touch. Taste. When you're in mommy or work mode or you're feeling too tired to exude sexy, call up your senses. Repeat it like a mantra: Sight. Sound. Scent. Touch. Taste. Light the fragrant candle. Look at the painting (we suggest Gustav Klimt's "The Kiss"). Play the track. Feel the fabric you are wearing. Pay attention to your breathing. Get back to being vibrant, aware and sensuous in the moment. Read: Which Body Part Is Most Popular?

3) Don't Force Your Wardrobe. No matter what your shape, don't be afraid to bare a little, advises Gottlieb. This is not about spending money on trying to look hot. It's about letting your clothes be an expression of who you are. Accentuate your positives. Go for bold colors or sleek darks, whichever you like. Pay attention to the clothes you choose to wear every day. Go for patterns that make you happy. Accessorize. Choose what's comfortable and flirty and reflects your personal style. Only you can pull off your style with such ease. Own it. Be confident in it. And when someone compliments you on how amazing you look, don't shrug it off. Look your admirer right in the eye and, with a warm grin, usher forth a genuine, appreciative thank you. Relish the rewards. You earned them. These are your clothes, this is your vibe—and it is pitch-perfect sexy.