Does No Cuddling Mean He's Just Not Into You?


Em and Lo's Wise Guys column—a regular feature asking three guys a sex/dating question—tackled hand holding, cuddling and the men who claim they don't like doing either this week. A worried reader wanted to know if a cuddle-phobic man she recently started dating is as he says or (those dreaded words) "just not that into me."


We're torn on this one. While we certainly think a friendly hand hold and post-coital spoon are sweet and appropriate, people come in all different shades of quirk and eccentric. Being affectionate after sex doesn't necessarily make a guy faithful and considerate, after all. That being said, we'd gladly take an aloof but loyal feline who dislikes unnecessary petting than a philandering, cuddly Labrador who humps everything. Here's a run down of what the fellas had to say.

STRAIGHT MARRIED GUY: The heterosexual married man basically tells the questioner to run for the hills. "If a guy doesn’t want to cuddle he probably doesn’t want you to feel like he’s your boyfriend," he says. "He doesn’t want you to get too close, too fast. Similarly, he could argue that he doesn’t want to lead you on." Hand-holding, he says, is a surefire way to tell if your new date sees you as monogomous girlfriend material. "Hand-holding for many guys is reserved for monogamous relationships...So… he’s not that into you.  But he may only need more time to get where you are." Ouch.

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