Self, Sex

Sex Brain Chip Being Developed

brain scan

You know the world of science has taken a dark and dangerous turn when new medical fix-its are based off fictional, humorous props in Woody Allen films. In Allen's 1973 film Sleeper, a frustrated, frigid society in 2173 step into an Orgasmatron (a dressed-up closet) to induce orgasms. 

Pretty cool idea—for a movie.

Well, it appears the researchers at Oxford's University of psychiatry have spent too many stoned nights watching Woody Allen and are feverishly working on a brain chip (2008 version of a closet) that will help those suffering from anhedonia (depression) enjoy sex and experience orgasms. Scientifically speaking, this follows along the same idea medical proffesionals have used to treat Parkinsons—an implanted chip sending shocks from electrodes in the brain, but this time warming up the genitals.

They've admitted this idea has an awkward wiring system. A sex-depraved woman volunteered to be a guinee pig and doctors strung the brain chip to heart pacemaker. While they say the logistics of the wiring can cause bleeding, the brain chip made her a "very sexually active woman." (Which in polite Brit term could mean just about anything.) In the future, they hope to refine this sexytime chip and make it more user-friendly.

"When the technology is improved, we can use deep brain stimulation in many new areas. It will be more subtle, with more control over the power so you may be able to turn the chip on and off when needed," neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz said. "In 10 years' time the range of therapies available will be amazing—we don't know half the possibilities yet."

This is either the beginning of something wondeful, or the end of natural sex as we know it. People will soon wonder if their "skills" are to thank or just an overactive brain chip. Oh, and say hello to: "No, honey it's not you. It's that blasted brain chip acting up again."

Makes us wonder what would happen if we sent these researchers an anonymous basket full of Kurt Vonnegut books. You know, just for giggles to see what new fangled gadgets they'd produce.

On second thought, perhaps we shouldn't tempt them.

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