Should You Wait For Commitment Or Walk Away?

Should You Wait For Commitment Or Walk Away?

She's falling for a guy who is seeing other people. Should she move on? Cathi and Dan offer advice.

For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: dating and commitment.

Question: I just started seeing this guy, and I think I'm falling for him. He tells me that though he likes me, he's still actively seeing other people. Should I wait for him to commit to me exclusively, or do I more on before I get too close? –Liza, 26

Her Take: I'm wondering what makes you think he will commit to you, if he's still seeing other people. Seems to me either this guy is just not the committing type, or he's (say it with me) just not that into you.

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Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
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It seems like you can't do anything right.