Riding High In The Saddle: How To Be A Confident Cowgirl


Cowgirl Sex
Talking to your partner about your insecurities before sex will help your confidence.
Dr. Joy offers advice to a woman who worries she's too big to be on top during sex.

I receive dozens of e-mails every week from men and women with burning questions about their sex and love lives. While I can't respond to them all individually, I thought I'd start sharing some of them here at YourTango so that everyone can benefit from the answers.  Let's start with a question that I hear time and again from women, whether they view themselves as overweight, like this reader, or feel a bit "less-than-perfect." And that, by the way, is all of us! 

Dear Dr. Joy,

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Am I too fat to get on top? I weigh more than my man and I feel weird getting on top, but I can’t orgasm in missionary or doggie style. I sometimes fake it for his sake, and I know that if I got on top, I could get there. I'm afraid he’ll hate my rolls and that I’ll be too heavy for him to handle.  What do you think? 

Nervous Cowgirl

Dear Nervous Cowgirl:

Relax, Cowgirl — riding on top doesn’t mean crushing a man with all your weight. If it did, even a 110 pounds woman would be too heavy for most men to handle. Think about what you really do in the saddle. Don’t you use your thighs and, sometimes, your outstretched arms, to support you while your hips bob up and down or gyrate to an inner rhythm? The trick is doing enough strength training outside the bedroom to manage the workout that your legs get during sex. How Married Women Can Recover Sexual Confidence

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