Photo: Instagram: April Flores
From a woman who practices what she preaches.
By Elle Chase, ACS — Written on Jun 15, 2017
It might surprise you to know that the missionary position is most women's favorite sex position. Missionary may seem boring at first glance, but it is also one of the most versatile positions for a curvy girl. There are endless ways to modify it and take it to new levels ...
In truth, missionary is the queen of all sex positions.
First of all, in this position, gravity works in your favor in any variation. When you lay back, all of your softer and curvier parts do, too. There's less to get in the way because gravity wants it all to hang back. Also, because missionary is easily customizable, it has the potential for making plus-size sex more creative and exciting.
As a bigger woman myself, I used to be a little worried about missionary. What if my stomach gets in the way? What if my thighs are too big for him to get between?
Well, I've figured it out. If you have the same feelings, not to worry — I'm here to make your frets and fears vanish.
The Ohm
This delicious advanced position delivers deep penetration while playing with different angles.
The receiver begins by lying on her back and raising her legs in the air at a 90-degree angle. The giver sidles up to kneel right behind her, holding her legs close to his chest and lining up his pelvis with her vulva as he enters.
After the giver has been in this position for a while, he moves the receiver's legs all the way to one side, yet the receiver's torso should stay turned upward toward the giver. The receiver should squeeze the PC muscles of her vagina during the position change to avoid the possibility of the giver slipping out.
Whew! I'm getting a little warm just describing it!
Elle's Big Girl Move
This is my favorite position because of all the ways it can be customized. For instance, if you both have a big belly, you'll be happy to know that this position is for you!
Because the giver is entering from behind, the receiver barely has to move her tummy away from the action, unless it is to make her more comfortable or to readjust where her tummy and thighs meet. The giver can bend the receiver's legs toward her torso more if his belly is challenging.
Also, if the receiver has a prodigious ass, the giver has his hands free to push butt cheeks away from each other, push the outside leg of the receiver up toward her chest to open up the area a bit more, or just enjoy the view and use one of his hands to play with her clit.
Going the Spooning, Scissoring and Sideways Route
Spooning, scissoring and sideways sex can be challenging for those of us with shapely butts and thicker thighs, or with a partner who has a larger stomach. However, for all of its angles and poses, sex sideways can also be one of the most versatile. Manipulating the angles can give both partners the opportunity to see each other better, as well as relish a handful of hip or bouncing breast ...
Spooning and sideways positions can get hot and dirty but they also can be about building connections and closeness. If you want to get super intimate and close, sideways sex can get deep quick when you're skin-to-skin against your lover and moving in rhythm together. Your bodies feel snug and more conjoined than ever.
The Flower Bud
Begin by spooning, with the receiver as the little spoon.
The receiver wraps her top leg around the giver's though as the giver props himself up with his lower elbow and enters.
He can use his top hand to stimulate her vulva, clitoris or nipple to coax her flower to bloom.
You Are Not Your Body
If your partner wasn't turned on by you, they wouldn't be having sex with you. That's just a fact.
A lot of curvy girls can feel self-conscious, uncomfortably vulnerable, or just plain scared to engage in a position like the Flower Bud where their tummy is exposed. This is a good time to re-train your mind away from the self-effacing or worrisome thoughts that might be coming up for you.
A great way to do this is to not beat yourself up for feeling or thinking the way you do. Instead, notice you're having the thought, acknowledge it in your mind, and then replace that thought by focusing on the pleasure you're receiving and giving.
Related: Lady Cheeky's New Book 'Curvy Girl Sex' Changes EVERYTHING & Here's A Sneak Peek!
Use all of your senses. Listen to your partner's breathing (or moaning) and see if you can determine his/her level of pleasure by its changing patterns. Hone in on body language and movements and how they communicate arousal. Concentrate on what it feels like where all the parts of your skin connect. Ask yourself what feels good, what's just okay, and what is incredibly arousing.
Stop the negative thoughts by focusing on what's happening in the moment and on what kind of pleasure you can or are giving your partner, then revel in your ability to be present and in your pleasure at the same time as your partner — that's no small feat!
A singular voice in the sexual health community and a body acceptance thought-leader, Elle Chase is a sought after sex education/sexuality expert for such outlets as TODAY SHOW on NBC, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, The Huffington Post, Men’s Health and Buzzfeed. Chase is also the creator of the award-winning feminist sensual images blog, LadyCheeky.
This article is an excerpt from Elle's much anticipated first book, “Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life” which is available now at QuartoKnows.
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