You're burned out on love.
The search for love can seem endless and like you’re repeatedly banging your head against a wall.
As humans, we need love for our emotional well-being and we get all different kinds of love from our families, friends, and partners. From an early age, we’re told that finding our one true love should be our mission in life.
We dream of what our soulmate would be like. They’d be intelligent, funny, hot, and kind. They’d love us more than could ever be measured, and their love would brighten our lives and give us the ability to handle whatever life threw at us.
After deciding what our perfect partner would be like, we set out to find them. We use apps, online dating, along with random meetings — anything that will help us find a potential boyfriend or girlfriend.
We have failed dates and successful ones, and gradually relationships form. Eventually, we end up marrying or moving in together or just making a long-term commitment without legal or other ties.
Sometimes our relationships don’t work out and we have heartbreak, confusion, and we go through periods where we doubt we’ll ever find somebody again. Gradually, we get to the point where we start the process all over again and put ourselves out there.
The point is, looking for love can be exhausting.
There are times when the best thing you can do for your love life is to take a break from it. Sometimes, when you’re not looking for love is when you find it unexpectedly and other times you learn to love your single life.
It’s not hard to understand why you might get burnt out and need a break from love after a lifetime of looking for it. Maybe you didn’t bounce back as quickly as you thought you would after a breakup, or maybe you’re just sick of making small talk or the process of getting ready for a date.
You feel as if dating is the one competition you have no interest in competing in. If you were on The Bachelor, you'd refuse the rose. You don't want to work at trying to find your perfect person and you don't want to play any of the games that seem to go along with finding love.
You're usually not exactly an open book as far as your emotions go, but you must be giving off some "tired of love" vibes because people keep telling you things like, "It's OK if you need a break from love," or "Why do you need a man anyway?"
You're putting a lot of effort into making sure that everyone knows up front that you're only looking for friends, nothing more. You're still your social self but it's all surface; you're not spending enough time really getting to know anyone. It's clear that you need a break from dating right now, as your social calendar is full of non-romantic dates.
You're not feeling it as far as love goes. You've been on that rollercoaster of emotions and you want to get off. You've been hurt by others, angry at yourself for falling for people who didn't have the capacity to love you back. You need a break, and bad.
There are a lot of people that love you, but there's not anyone you can see having a romantic relationship with. You're tempted to just try to force yourself into settling with someone just so that you won't feel that ache. Don't do it. It's not fair to that person and it's not fair to you. Just let the idea of romantic love go for a bit.
You're at the point where you've done the research and you've managed to convince yourself that there's no one out there for you. When you meet someone you immediately start cataloging their flaws or you're own. You're not being honest with yourself. If you're working that hard to not get together with someone, then you need a break from love.
You love being in love... or so you think. But lately, when you've met someone, you spend so much time weighing the pros and cons that nothing gets off the ground. You believe that you're just desperate enough to date anyone, but honestly, that's not going to make you feel better. Try dating yourself for a while; you'll feel much better after a self-imposed break from love.
You're a very passionate person, and when you don't have someone to love, your passion turns into jealousy. You see red when you see people obviously in love and you have to hold back from trying to break couples up. You need to take a breath and turn that negativity into something positive for yourself. Too much intensity will burn you out; you need to focus on beauty and art for a while.
You're so tired of not finding your boo that it's affected your normally friendly and open personality. And while you normally thrive on meeting new people, it's actually been getting frustrated. Your last relationships didn't end well and you're feeling as if dating is pointless. You're burned out by love and the best thing you can do for yourself is to have a change of scenery.
You don't want to waste your energy having to work at love; you've got real work to do. Your job is much more important to you right now than finding a partner... unless it's a business partner. You're OK interviewing potential employees but not potential love interests. You can't take a vacation from work but you can take a vacation from love.
All the feels that come with love are just too much for you at this time. You'd rather lose yourself in technology than in someone's eyes. You need to distance yourself from love right now and regroup. First, you'll try to regain your love for humanity; then, after some time, maybe you'll look for love again.
The idea of dating, going online, and rejoining Tinder makes you want to take to your bed and never get up again. You've been hurt and used and you're done. Now is the time to take a sabbatical from the pursuit of love and focus on what expands your soul: art, friends, family, animals — anything you love that doesn't cause you heartbreak.