9 Struggles Only Impatient People Will Understand

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Only Impatient People Understand

Hurry the eff up before I go nuclear.

Patience is a virtue. A virtue I don't have.

Nine things that drive impatient bat-sh*t crazy.

1. Self-check-outs. We use self check-outs to avoid the HELL that is regular check-out lines, in an attempt to shave valuable minutes off our transaction time. (Time is money, people.) Unless, of course, we're stuck behind someone who has literally no concept how or where to find a barcode and/or starts inserting pennies to pay for his $9.99 purchase. NOPE.


2. Public transportation ticket lines. The instructions are on the screen. Follow them. Have your credit card ready. AND YET: You would think people are re-interpreting the Torah, the time that goes into this transaction.


3. Women's bathrooms. Extenuating circumstances aside, what are you ladies DOING in there that takes you longer than 45 seconds to pee and get out? This is not a time to make a call/check your Facebook notifications/ listen to voicemail, especially if you're at a a) concert venue, b) baseball stadium, or c) amusement park. #Rude

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4. Email response rates. Obviously there are exceptions to folks who don't work at a computer, but it's still maddening to me that a simple Yes/No response takes hours for some people. Do you just ... enjoy watching your inbox fill up? Please explain. 

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5. Dressing rooms. Put on the dress. Look in the mirror. Take off the dress. See also: Online shopping is God's proof that he loves us and wants us to be happy.


6. Bad restaurant service. I used to be a waitress, so I have a soft spot for folks working in the service industry and usually give them the benefit of the doubt. However, you bet your ass I was an efficient waitress and thusly, I expect relatively prompt attention when I sit at my table, especially if we can all see you mackin' on the manager by the soda fountain instead of bringing us menus. #unprofessional

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7. People who can't make decisions. You have a 5-minute window to make up your damn mind before we go nuclear on you.

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8. Airports. This is a blanket statement of hatred. Unless you've lived under a rock and have never actually stepped foot into a terminal, this needs no further explanation.


9. Kids. That's why I don't have any.



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