Forget the lame frat boy stereotype!
In today's society where—rightfully so—an equal playing fields between the sexes is "in", and chauvinism and machismo are so out ... the alpha male can easily get a bad rap.
Take Don Draper. As much as one enjoys watching the Mad Men lead, you'd be a bit nuts to actually enter into a relationship with a guy like him. But, in doing some research, it's clear that the domineering, sexist stereotype of the alpha male is not entirely correct. It turns out there are some very good, very sexy reasons why a confident, driven alpha male could be worth your dating while.
Now, it's possible that you're thinking: I'm usually the dominant force in my relationships, and I'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Not to fear: a true alpha male is so secure in his manhood, he's comfortable taking turns and letting his lady lead.
Even romance novels know this is the power dynamics woman crave in relationship. The sexy series called Fifth Avenue for example is all about men who are alpha-male strong falling for female characters who are formidable forces in their own right (and the men wouldn’t have them any other way).
So, if you've had it with passive, emo guys, here are five very good reasons to date an alpha male instead:
1. Intense eye contact. Alpha males, of both the human and animal variety, are not quick to avert their eye gaze as "beta" or other less dominant males are wont to do. Dog owners, for example, will often "stare down" their dogs in order to prove dominance while training them.
Whether or not being trained like a dog is your thing (hey, it could be), dating a guy confident enough to meet your gaze—and hold it—is incredibly sexy.
2. He's resilient. Alpha males are persistent. They know what they want—and they work hard to get it. This is good news for you and your potential alpha male boyfriend. As leading depression researcher, Peter D. Kramer asserts: happiness is not the opposite of depression, resilience is. Bouncing back from rejection and overcoming difficulties are much easier with a positive belief that one can and will, in fact, get over this hurdle and even thrive in the process.
Dating a man who persists with grit and tenacity when meeting his goals —be it in his career or in the bedroom —as an alpha male does, means dating someone who picks himself up by his own bootstraps; he doesn't wait around for you to do it. Nor does he run home sulking the second things don't go his way.
3. He's optimistic. One of the keys to resilience is having an optimistic outlook on life. This is really good news for alpha males, as research shows that optimistic people typically enjoy more successful. This is also good news for those who date alpha males, as studies show that not only is optimism contagious but that having an optimistic spouse can help you stay healthy as you age.
4. He's outgoing. Think of the typical alpha male in a social setting. Chances are he's the one working the room, laughing and joking, unafraid to approach a woman who strikes his fancy. Alpha males are usually outgoing, and the good news for you dating one is that extroverted people—that is, people who draw their energy from being around other people often feel happier.
And just as with optimism, happiness tends to spread. Not only will you have a guy who’s able to hold his own at your work get-together, probability is high that your happiness will increase with your extroverted guy than with that brooding wallflower type you used to date.
5. He’s not "model" hot – and that's a good thing. While alpha males tend to attract women, it’s not necessarily with their looks. Confidence, sociability and optimism are much hotter to women—in the long run, yes, but even in the semi-long run (like after the third date)—than model features and six-pack abs. Don't get me wrong, we'll take dashing good looks, too, but as the cherry on top.
The problem with men who are too attractive is that, in some ways, they've had it too easy – and remember, being an alpha male is all about overcoming and working tirelessly to meet your goals. Not to mention, research shows that in marriages where the husband is less attractive than the wife, both partners tend to feel happier.
Need more inspiration to give that alpha guy a try? Check out the hot Fifth Avenue romance series for some seriously steamy beach reading. To find out more information, visit www.harlequin.com/fifthavenue.