People Who Think Getting A Pet Will Suddenly Solve Their Problems Usually Have 9 Avoidant Traits
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock It’s easy to see why someone would think getting a pet would make their life better. Owning a pet is a well-known way for people to boost their mental and physical health.
But that’s not the same thing as making problems go away. People who expect a pet to fix everything are really just trying to avoid the issues they need to deal with to be truly happy.
People with these 9 avoidant traits believe they can get a pet to solve all their problems:
1. They want to feel connected without the risk of human relationships
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Humans crave connection. The ideal way to get that connection is through relationships with each other, but some people are afraid of putting themselves out there.
To get close to someone, you have to open up and be yourself even though you know they could reject you. That can be scary enough for some folks that it feels safer to avoid it altogether.
Since they still need to feel a connection, there’s a good chance that they’ll look for it in a pet. Animals don’t expect them to be vulnerable in heartfelt conversations, so it’s easier for them.
2. They focus on something different to ignore hard decisions
Getting a pet isn’t exactly an easy choice to make itself, but it could provide the distraction someone needs. Procrastinating serious decisions doesn’t make them disappear, though.
Perfectionism and procrastination usually go hand in hand because people put off doing things that they worry they can’t do flawlessly. That includes decision-making.
If someone has a really tough choice to make, focusing on the immediate needs of a new pet could bring them temporary relief. Unfortunately, that just makes it harder when they have to make the choice under pressure later on.
3. They choose what feels good in the short term
Becoming a pet owner can be deceiving because it really does make people feel better. The problem is that the feeling doesn’t last. They might be less stressed for a little while, but they’ll still have to tackle the big issues they’re facing at some point.
Basically, they’re choosing instant gratification over something even better in the long term. The best thing they can do is work through their challenges now so they don’t have to keep worrying about them. And it wouldn’t hurt for them to go ahead and get a pet, too.
4. They think they can change who they are by changing their environment
Sometimes people fall into the trap of thinking they can solve their deep-seated problems with a simple fix. Emotional pain doesn’t go away when someone makes a small change to their environment, but it would be nice if it did.
That’s why people deal with their trauma by getting a pet. They’re trying to resolve layers of internal hurt by adding a furry friend to their external home.
Pets are a huge comfort, so they probably will get some relief. But it won’t be enough to undo all of the damage they need to work through.
5. They hope they’ll accept themselves if an animal does first
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Animals are known for showing unconditional love, which would seem really appealing to someone who doesn’t know how to love themselves. Maybe if they watch their pet accept them without a second thought, they’ll be able to do the same.
Self-acceptance is a process that requires deep emotional work. It’s not a switch anyone can flip automatically because they watched a pet set the example for them.
You can’t just cover up a gaping hole like that. Even with a pet, doubts and insecurities will linger until they’re faced head-on.
6. They can’t admit that they need help
Asking someone for emotional support requires actually asking. No one can read minds, so when people keep their problems private, their loved ones might not even know they exist.
It’s not easy to ask for that kind of help. For some people, it means swallowing their pride and sharing the messy parts of their life that they try to hide.
Someone who needs help but can’t bring themselves to ask for it can find comfort in a pet’s companionship. Animals are often easier to rely on than people. But the problem is their problems won’t actually resolve that way.
7. They ignore their uncomfortable feelings by staying busy
New pet owners have to adjust to a different routine that comes with more responsibilities than they’re used to. When someone’s going through a lot, they could choose to stay busy all the time as a form of emotional avoidance.
That means they’re distracting themselves so they don’t feel emotions they don’t like. But those feelings don’t go away because they’re focused on something else. Instead, they’ll have to deal with them later when they might be even stronger.
8. They aren’t ready to address how lonely they are
Loneliness is a serious problem a lot of people experience. Since it affects people’s health, it needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.
Pets are wonderful, but they aren’t a cure for loneliness. Someone can’t use a pet as a substitute for real socialization that improves their well-being.
Even though no one wants to admit that they feel lonely, it’s much better than pretending it’s not a problem and continuing to hurt because of it.
9. They think love can heal everything
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It would be nice if life was like a fairytale, but it’s definitely not. Finding love, whether it’s in a person or a pet, doesn’t erase every problem and make life feel magical.
When someone is dealing with specific emotional issues like social anxiety or grief, they can’t expect the love of a pet to heal it all. Those are things that need to be targeted individually instead of putting a Band-Aid over them all.
No matter how much someone loves their pet, and how much they feel that love reciprocated, it still won’t work as a quick and easy solution to real problems.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
