The Most Miserable Person In The Room Is Almost Constantly Doing 3 Things
Connect Images - Curated | Shutterstock Deeply miserable people have a way of spreading their negativity to others.
They suck the energy out of a room, unable to see the good things happening in their lives. And they're pretty easy to spot, because their toxic behaviors are constant.
What the most miserable person in the room is almost always doing
1. Complaining about things that don't matter
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If you interact with someone and the conversation revolves around them being upset or only their problems, it's likely that they're a miserable person deep down. Someone who is constantly unhappy will complain about almost everything, but especially the things that don't matter in the grand scheme.
They don't hold back, either. That new job they just got? They complain about their co-worker getting on their nerves. That family event they have coming up? They complain that they don't want to go.
While venting is a normal way to relieve stress, for a miserable person, their venting comes from a place of uncertainty. They're unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel because they're always so focused on what's going wrong. And they refuse to take any good advice seriously.
According to psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen, "The repetitive indulgence in negative emotions... can lead to a rewiring of neurotransmitters. This neural rewiring reinforces negative thought patterns, making it easier for pessimistic thoughts to dominate while leaving little room for positive feelings like gratitude and well-being."
This is why miserable people are trapped in a cycle of negativity with no end in sight. They complain because they want to be heard and validated, but they never want to do anything to change their circumstances.
2. Putting others down to make themselves feel better
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Not only do miserable people complain all the time, but they also put others down. In an attempt to make themselves feel better, they're highly critical.
For example, they might be overly judgmental about what you're eating. They see you chowing down and feel resentful. Maybe they suffer from their own body image issues or have a complicated relationship with food. They're coming from a place of really deep insecurity, and the only way to put those feelings at ease is to make themselves feel superior.
To deal with their insecurity, they might make a backhanded remark like "if only we all had your appetite and fast metabolism." They won't admit how they're feeling inside, and instead mask their jealousy to put others down.
Health writer Sanjana Gupta explained, "Insecurity can plunge you into a constant cycle of self-doubt and comparison. It often stems from feelings of inadequacy and a lack of confidence in your abilities and relationships."
Putting others down doesn't help a miserable person to become more secure, though. Even if criticizing their friend's eating habits made them feel a little better, it's only a temporary sense of relief. This can lead to them becoming lonely and their friendships falling apart, only making their misery worse.
3. Acting entitled about everything
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If someone is the most miserable person in the room, they likely have a huge sense of self-entitlement. They believe the whole world revolves around them. When something happens that goes against their world view, their fragile self-esteem crumbles and they respond with hostility.
Maybe they're at a party with their partner. When they make demands and their partner doesn't immediately cave in to their requests, miserable people make it a bigger issue than it actually is.
They believe their time is more valuable than others', and their expectations must be met. They get angry right away and may even yell at their partner for the lack of consideration, despite them doing nothing wrong. They believe their partner should feel as miserable as they do in that moment.
Because of their self-entitled mentality, they're unwilling to take accountability for their actions. And in the end, it affects their relationships in a negative way. Eventually, they push everyone away and have nobody left.
Allison Peterson is a writer with a degree in English from the University of Nevada, Reno. She writes on relationships, lifestyle, and mental health topics.
