Genuinely Respected People Usually Do 14 Things In Casual Conversation
fizkes | Shutterstock Are there things we can do that influence other people’s perceptions of us or how much respect we get? Years of stumbling through life and being fascinated by human behavior answered this question for me.
Respect is earned, and that's not always through money or success. Sometimes respect is just knowing how to talk to people and make them feel heard. Genuinely respected people don't make socializing all about them, and that's the real secret.
Things truly respected people do when chatting with others that only solidify their reputation:
1. They let others speak
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Speaking less shows comfort in one’s skin, especially when paired with a relaxed demeanor, and it adds to your sense of mystery. Talking less and listening more can earn you respect in several ways, including building trust, being a stronger conversationalist, being open and thoughtful, being mysterious, being in control, and being a good listener.
2. They don't fidget
Quick movements and fidgeting make you appear nervous. Being relaxed and moving slowly can earn you respect by projecting confidence, composure, and control.
A 2021 study published by Frontiers in Psychology found that people who move slowly and avoid fidgeting are not easily flustered or pressured and can make thoughtful decisions even in stressful situations. That sense of calm creates trust.
3. They hold people’s eye contact
Nothing says "I’m confident and I am interested in other people" quite like holding someone’s gaze, especially for a little longer than you might feel comfortable. Psychology confirms that maintaining eye contact is a sign of confidence.
4. They say what others wouldn't dare to say
Occasionally, say what needs to be said, even when no one else dares. Speak your mind honestly.
Recently, research from Harvard Business Review looked into the impact of bold leadership and found that the greatest leaders speak up in difficult conversations, take risks, volunteer for assignments, and often think in unconventional ways.
5. They have control of their emotions
Reactive people don’t leave space between a triggering stimulus and their emotional response. Remain stoic.
6. They're focused
How refreshing is it to see someone actively attentive to another person? It is becoming rare. Instant respect.
According to psychology, focusing on what you can give others and being grateful can help you earn respect.
Respect is important because it helps people feel safe and express themselves. It also reflects two core motives of social life: the need to belong and the striving for status.
7. They're not instantly available
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You don’t always need to be there or respond to that text instantly. Psychology tells us that the scarcer something is, the higher its perceived value.
8. They're unapologetically themselves
If there's one way to get people to fall in love with you, it’s to embrace your weirdness. Allow your quirky, fun side to come out. According to research from Harvard, people like when you're authentically you.
“Creatives,” the lead researcher noted, “live in a vaguer, fluid, nebulous world,” and although “a highly original person may seem odd or strange to others… and may have to confront criticism or rejection for being too questioning, or too unconventional”, this kind of social weirdness is precisely what leads people to creative breakthroughs.
9. They actively listen
Listen to what people say. Allow a few extra seconds. This is rare and will set you apart. People will pay attention to you when you know how to listen, research from the International Journal of Listening confirms.
10. They dress sharply
The seemingly superficial can make a huge difference. Dress well, and you will feel better and make a much better impression than if you look scruffy.
People form opinions of you before you speak, and your clothes are the first thing they see. Dressing well can show that you're confident, sophisticated, and intelligent. Research from the University of Texas confirms that when you wear clothes that make you feel good, you exude a positive vibe, and people will treat you with more respect.
11. They speak purposefully
Talk slower, and you will calm down, elevate your perceived status, and garner respect, research from the University of Pennsylvania confirms.
12. They don't people-please
Pleasing people does not lead to increased respect. Instead, be valuable and serve people when it’s appropriate. Psychologically, not trying to impress everyone earns you respect because it demonstrates authenticity, self-confidence, and a genuine connection with others rather than a calculated attempt to gain approval, which can often be perceived as inauthentic and manipulative.
Essentially, people value genuineness and trust those comfortable being themselves without needing external validation, as explained in 2013 research from The Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization.
13. They're not afraid to take up space
People respect those who aren’t afraid to take up a little extra space. According to 2022 research, by refusing to stand down and knowing your worth, people will see that and follow.
14. They give without expectation
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Most people are running around giving things to people with expectations tied to their charity. Be different. Grow your tribe by giving value to one person at a time.
Giving without expectation can earn respect because it demonstrates a selfless and altruistic nature. According to 2016 research, practicing unconditional love, or loving without expecting anything in return, can also help you gain respect.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
