You Can Usually Tell Someone’s Highly Intelligent If They Complain About This One Thing, Says A Psychologist
Nenad Cavoski | Shutterstock You may be wondering what the fuss is about when it comes to having a high IQ. After all, having one doesn't predict success, and it certainly doesn't make life easier. Some could argue that being highly intelligent is not a blessing at all.
There are definitely benefits that come from having high intelligence, but downsides exist, too. Someone with a high IQ might have been able to ace standardized testing back in the day, but there's also a chance that they struggle with finding their place in society as an adult.
Highly intelligent people are neurodivergent in their own way because they feel under-stimulated.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Angelica Shiels explained that although being super smart is often coveted, it can lead to problems later down the road. "Having an exceptionally high IQ is a type of neurodivergence that can influence both your relationships and mental well-being," she theorized.
During Shiels' psychological education, she was required to administer IQ tests left and right. As dull as those tests were, they did help measure how our brains work. The average person usually has an IQ of around 100, with 15 points being the standard deviation.
Shiels said that the people we think of as being really smart, like doctors and lawyers, probably have an IQ of around 120 at most. "Through this, they tend to pick up new information and remember things more effortlessly," she continued.
But people with even higher IQs don't fit into this mold. Sure, they can easily memorize things and have lots of brainpower. However, they often feel under-stimulated and uninspired by most things in life. "Most people who have a high IQ are depressed, abuse substances, or aren't in relationships," she said.
This means that highly intelligent people often feel isolated from the world around them.
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Psychotherapist Imi Lo addressed why the smartest people might have more relationship problems than others. According to her, people with high IQs crave connection because they feel cut off from the rest of the world.
"You learned early that your complexity or speed scared people away, that your sensitivity made you 'weird,'" she explained. "So when someone arrives who seems to see you, who mirrors back your intensity, who claims to understand the parts of you that have always been too much, you feel found."
Wanting a relationship so badly means that highly intelligent people are unlikely to let go of ones that they do find. No one else gets them, and no one else challenges them in the same way. Unfortunately, this might lead them to stay in an unhealthy relationship because they think they'll be completely alone otherwise. Their only hope for intellectual stimulation comes from someone who isn't right for them.
Having the right amount of intellectual stimulation has more far-reaching implications, though.
Not everyone's brain works in the same way, which is evidenced by people's differing IQs. This means some people will find certain activities perfectly intellectually stimulating, while others will just be bored. Research has shown that engaging in stimulating activities creates cognitive benefits that people experience for years, so it's important to get what you individually need.
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Someone who feels consistently under-stimulated isn't just going to feel uninterested in life, but also potentially struggle to maintain their IQ and cognitive skills. This could cause them to do something rash, like stay in a toxic relationship, or even try out a risky profession.
With therapy and other sources, you can work through what's holding you back and truly thrive. Unfortunately, we were taught to view a high IQ as a gift, something to celebrate. But studies have explored how it can be a lonely road, where you often feel misunderstood and isolated. However, by understanding those challenges, you can work through them and form meaningful connections with others.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
