People Slowly Learning How To Let People Help Them Usually Take 3 Phrases Out Of Their Vocabulary
Craig Adderley | Pexels Being independent can be a beautiful thing, but sometimes, it's unhealthy.
For people who are letting others help them, it's a slow process. But because they're so focused on being vulnerable and opening up, they'll never use certain phrases ever again.
People slowly learning how to let others help them won't ever use these phrases
1. 'Nobody is coming to rescue me'
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Hyper-independence is actually a trauma response. But for folks who have overcome the notion that asking for help is weak, they simply don't have the phrase "nobody is coming to rescue me" in their vocabulary.
While this is something young women understand as it relates to not relying on men for too much, for those healing from hyper-independence, this phrase might have a different meaning. To them, it's often very difficult to lean on others, so when they do receive that support, it feels foreign.
As psychology educator Kendra Cherry explained, "Strong social support significantly boosts psychological health by providing stress relief and strengthening resilience."
When people lean on others during tough times, they're not only boosting their own well-being, they're receiving help to "achieve their goals and improve their quality of life. By solidifying connections with family and friends, people can experience healthier, happier lives."
2. 'I'm too soft to be vulnerable'
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Unfortunately, being open and "soft" is the whole point of vulnerability. You can have a soft heart but also be very strong. Because a person's sensitivity or empathy doesn't mean they're weak.
For hyper-independent individuals who have had to rely on themselves for most things, they need to learn a whole new relationship with trust, both in themselves and others. And that takes time.
Behavioral scientist Dr. Khoa Le Nguyen revealed that one of the first ways to overcome hyper-independence is to build healthier connections. That begins with recognizing your capacity to trust.
"Pay attention to the little ways you trust yourself and others every day. For example, you might trust yourself to get out of bed each morning. You may also trust your bus driver to show up on time. This can help you realize that you can (and do) develop trust,” Nguyen said.
Nguyen also discussed the importance of showing yourself compassion, adding, "It can be hard to trust others if you don't trust yourself. Practicing self-compassion and self-love can help reduce the pressure you may have put on yourself to have everything figured out."
3. 'I don't need help'
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When a person says "I don't need help," they likely understand that everyone needs help from time to time. It could be little things like solving a simple problem or larger things like requiring physical assistance of some kind.
No matter what it is, nobody can do everything alone, nor should they. And despite trying to learn to let others help them, they may be under the impression that they're a burden. So, they just don't ask at all.
"We shy away from asking for help because we don't want to bother other people, assuming that our request will feel like an inconvenience to them. But oftentimes, the opposite is true: People want to make a difference in people's lives and they feel good, happy even, when they are able to help others," social psychologist Xuan Zhao said.
Though many people who don't ask for help also think they'll come off as incompetent or weak, they're often caught up in their own concerns. So, when a person is wanting to be vulnerable and reach out for help, it's because they've come to understand that there's nothing wrong with relying on others every now and then.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
