Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Very Different Ideas Of What Counts As Rude Table Manners
AJR_photo / Shutterstock Most people learn at least something about proper table manners when they are young, but that doesn’t mean everyone puts them into practice in the same way. Like most things, opinions on table etiquette evolve over time, so people who grew up in different time periods were taught to meet different expectations and social norms. Because of this, each generation, from baby boomers to Gen Z, has unique ideas about what’s really rude to do at the dinner table.
What each generation considers to be rude table manners depends on how they feel about formalities.
Older generations tend to stick to formal traditions as a form of respect, but younger folks think a formal set of rules isn’t as important as just being kind to everyone.
Boomers uphold formal table manners as a way to show respect to everyone who’s there.
Traditional table manners are super important to baby boomers. They grew up in an era of formal family dinners where they were expected to show respect, and they certainly haven’t relaxed their rules over time.
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According to a YouGov survey, older people pay closer attention to the small table etiquette rules that often get overlooked these days. You won’t find boomers chewing with their mouth open or reaching across the table for what they want instead of asking someone closer to pass it to them.
Another huge faux pas for boomers is looking at your phone at the table. Pew Research Center data shows that only a small percentage think it’s OK for someone to check their phone during a family dinner. Boomers find that kind of distraction totally disrespectful.
Gen X doesn’t want to be rude at the table, but they’re less strict about formalities.
The way Gen X thinks about table manners makes them a bridge between formal boomers and less formal younger generations. They still observe some traditional rules, like placing their napkin in their lap, but they’re also open to tailoring their behavior to fit whoever they’re eating with.
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It might be more accurate to say that Gen X doesn’t want to be rude than to say they worry about rude table manners. They value their independence both for themselves and for others, so they would never make a big deal out of someone putting their elbows on the table if that makes them comfortable.
As for phones at the table, Gen X is less picky about it than boomers, probably because they’re more used to technology themselves. They still wouldn’t appreciate someone paying more attention to a text than the conversation at the table, but their view is that it's most important for everyone to be courteous, even if they aren’t perfectly formal.
Millennials think rude table manners are anything that makes other people uncomfortable.
For millennials, good etiquette has more to do with treating others well than following a set of rules. Traditional table manners like using cutlery in the right order and putting a napkin in your lap barely cross their minds.
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Taking pictures of food for social media has become popular, but they try not to inconvenience anyone else when they do it, especially if they’re at a restaurant. Using a phone at the table isn’t a huge deal to them, which isn’t surprising, but they do care about respecting other people’s dietary restrictions. Millennials are social, and they would hate to hurt a friend or family member’s feelings during a shared meal by making them feel uncomfortable.
Gen Z doesn’t care much about formal table manners, which some generations think is rude.
The traditional table manners that boomers cling to, like waiting until everyone’s been served to start eating, aren’t much of a priority to Gen Z at all. They would actually be more concerned about making the meal feel awkward because it's overly formal.
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Gen Z is the generation that’s most comfortable with using phones at the table because that’s just a normal part of their lives. Keeping an engaging conversation going matters more to them than nitpicking people’s little habits.
Older folks frequently accuse Gen Z of having poor etiquette that holds them back. While they’re not up to boomers’ standards, it’s important to remember that they were raised in a totally different environment. They just want to have a nice meal with friends instead of over-analyzing everything they do.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
