8 Things Extroverts Think Are Sad But Are An Introvert's Literal Dream
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock Introverts gather their energy from solitude or from small, tight-knit groups of friends, but to extroverts, that quiet existence can seem very sad.
People view whether they are an extrovert or an introvert as part of who they are and their defining personality. But it goes well beyond just someone who has a lot of friends versus someone who would rather stay home on the weekends. They have very different interests, and what an introvert might imagine as a dream evening inevitably looks a whole lot different from what an extrovert might dream up.
Things introverts truly enjoy that extroverts find kind of miserable:
1. A quiet afternoon alone
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Introverts are more than capable of sitting in silence without looking at their phone, tablet, or TV to entertain themselves. In fact, introverts are happy to stare into space and entertain themselves daydreaming. Daydreaming is one of an introvert's many silent hobbies.
Carl Jung, a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, psychologist, and the person credited with distinguishing between extroverts and introverts, is quoted as saying, "When you observe the world, you see people; you see houses; you see the sky; you see tangible objects. But when you observe yourself within, you see moving images, a world of images generally known as fantasies."
2. Canceled plans
There is nothing an introvert loves more than getting a text from a friend canceling their plans. Even if they were looking forward to the plans and seeing the person or people they were going to see, canceled plans are music to their ears.
Introverts gather energy from being alone. So, even if an introvert is looking forward to plans and wants to see the people or person they were planning to see, being around them can still take emotional and physical energy that they might not have. This is when canceled plans are a godsend.
3. A rainy day
There are few things in life introverts love more than the sound of rain on a windowpane. Not only is the sound of rain incredibly relaxing, but it's an excuse to stay home and do nothing.
Rain sounds also help with relaxation and are often used to induce sleep or meditation. Introverts love the sound of rain because it encourages daydreaming and reflective thinking, letting them sit back and do either from the comfort of their home with the rain outside.
4. Long stretches of silence
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Introverts are happy to sit in silence. This can be by themselves, with a pet, with family, or with friends. Companionable silence is something that many introverts struggle to come by because many people, extroverts especially, struggle with sitting in silence without filling it with small talk, something that introverts cannot stand.
Dr. Susan Anderson, a counseling psychologist, explained, "For many introverts, silence creates mental breathing room. It gives your thoughts space to settle. You can notice details, replay ideas, or simply rest your mind. People who feel energized by interaction often use conversation to create connection in real time. Introverts often feel connection in shared presence, even when nobody is talking."
5. Listening to calming music
Unsurprisingly, introverts love soft, calming music. Think "Ordinary," by Alex Warren or "Such a Funny Way" by Sabrina Carpenter. These songs are designed to be low-register, like a comforting hug, and sweet like honey.
According to one of the pioneers of personality psychology, Hans Eysenck, and his wife and fellow personality researcher, Sybil Eysenck, introverts have higher baseline cortical arousal, meaning they react more strongly to stimuli. Loud noises and even overwhelming visual imagery can cause sensory fatigue in introverts, which is why calming sounds are so appealing.
6. Visiting new spaces
Introverts do enjoy visiting new spaces. While these spaces may not be popular, crowded restaurants or clubs, they love exploring a new bookstore or museum. These are places where their brains and ways of thinking still feel welcome.
Introverts like experiencing new things; it just needs to feel like something they would do. "While getting out there and trying new things is a healthy ideal to embrace, sometimes an introvert just wants to engage in an activity that’s a bit more low-key," says April Presnell of Elite Daily.
7. Reading a good book
Books are more like friends to a true introvert. Many people joke about this online, and introverts do too.
However, introverts do really love books. Like their love of daydreaming, books bring them into vastly different, new worlds while they sit silently. Reading is kind of the perfect hobby for an introvert because it allows them to escape and explore without going anywhere.
8. Spending time with a select group of people
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Introverts are not anti-social homebodies that hate everyone. Introverts have a group of people they love and want to be around when they have the energy. It's not that introverts hate being social. They just socialize differently than extroverts and that's an important distinction.
Introvert and expert on the topic Sophia Dembling explained, "Introverts are good at some important aspects of friendship. We are attentive listeners and thoughtful responders. We’re choosy about friends, so we’re loyal to the ones we choose. We keep most people at arm’s length, but go deep with friends."
Lyss Micalizzi is a writer covering human interest and pop culture, with a master’s in Literature and Culture, a bachelor’s in English Literary and Textual Studies, and over six years of writing and social media experience. Their work is driven by the belief that stories are what make us human.
