Women Whose Husbands Treat Them Like Employees Often Develop 8 Habits To Cope
wavebreakmedia / Shutterstock Most of us think a marriage should be an equal partnership, but some men are so controlling or incompetent that they expect their wives to do everything for them.
The non-stop stream of delegated responsibilities doled out as commands can easily make a woman feel less like a wife and more like an employee. This is not only obviously disrespectful, but it can be difficult to deal with emotionally. Women in this situation will often develop certain habits as a way to cope with the disappointment and resentment they are likely to feel on a near-daily basis.
Women whose husbands basically treat them as their employees tend to develop these habits as coping mechanisms
1. They spend as much time alone as possible
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Even the most extroverted people need to spend some time in solitude. And, although we don’t often think about it, it’s not healthy for couples to spend every waking moment together.
But when a woman's husband treats her like she works for him instead of with him, she usually isn't looking for some run-of-the-mill alone time to relax. She feels like she has more control over her life when she isn't with her husband, so she relishes everything from a few minutes of reading to a solo trip to the grocery store. Because her husband basically gives her the most toxic boss energy of all time, she feels like she has to spend time alone to avoid being critiqued or having something else added to her never-ending to-do list.
2. They become perfectionists
Many people who turn into perfectionists do so because they’re worried about letting someone down. That’s definitely true for women who feel like nothing more than an employee in their marriage.
Just like someone would want to do their best at work, these women think they’re working on some kind of performance review at home, too. This means they never have a chance to let their guard down and de-stress the way everyone needs to.
3. They rarely speak up about what they want
Wives who feel like employees usually start deferring to their husbands because they think they have the same kind of authority a manager does. When decisions should be made jointly, they don’t actually give any input. They just let him choose instead.
The goal is for people to know who they are as individuals while being in relationships with others. It’s hard to do that when someone feels like they have to bury their own desires so the other person gets everything they want.
4. They avoid asking for help
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Many people feel like asking for help makes them look incompetent, so they just don’t do it. But the situation is a bit different for wives who feel like employees. Their primary concern isn’t looking weak.
Instead, they don’t want everything in the marriage to become transactional or turn into an opportunity for totally unnecessary feedback. Marriage should never be about keeping score or one spouse evaluating the other.
5. They ask for permission instead of making their own choices
A grown woman doesn’t need anyone’s permission, especially when she’s making super basic decisions. But a husband who treats her like an employee will make her feel like her time isn’t her own, and she really does need to run things by him.
This means she’s seeking his approval, which isn’t surprising since he’s positioned himself as some kind of leader. But she won’t have any autonomy if she gets stuck in that cycle, which isn’t how things should be at all.
6. They keep emotions out of conversations
Really strong couples are able to be vulnerable with each other and share their feelings without fear of judgment. Women who barely feel like wives at all do the opposite and talk only about the most basic, logical topics.
It’s helpful for people to talk about their emotions, especially the negative ones, but that will feel too complicated for these women. Their husbands have never provided a safe space for them to vent because they expect them to always be doing something for them. Leaving emotions out of everything will feel much more comfortable.
7. They feel better when their husband isn’t home
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So many people actually feel a sense of separation anxiety when they’re away from their spouse, but women who have gotten used to being treated like employees are the exact opposite. When their husbands are gone, it feels like they can finally breathe.
They know that their husbands demand way too much of them whenever they’re around, so even a short break feels like a relief. In fact, they’ll probably start to wonder what it would be like for life to always be that way.
8. They always have an explanation for how they spend their time
Even though these women feel much more comfortable when they’re alone, they still can’t completely relax. Their husbands have created an environment that makes them feel like they need to account for every second of their day.
It’s literally like they’re on the clock, so they’re always ready with an explanation for where they were and what they were doing. This kind of over-explaining is something people usually do when they want to avoid upsetting someone else, which shows how unhealthy the relationship is.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
