7 Kinda Sneaky Phrases That Make People Think You Respect Them Even If You Don't
Artem Podrez | Pexels Sometimes, we have to pretend to respect another person, even if we don't. It might be a colleague at work or a friend's new boyfriend, because even if we dislike them, it's easier to let things blow over.
So, rather than avoiding situations with someone like this, people use certain phrases when they want others to think they respect them, despite not actually feeling that way.
People say these phrases when they want you to think they respect you, but don't
1. 'I hear you'
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By saying "I hear you," it's a way to validate someone, even when you don't want to. It lets you pretend that you've been listening when you haven't.
For example, somebody might go on a long rant about something that happened to them. You may respond with this phrase, but in your mind, you're planning your meals for the week or thinking of the chores you have waiting at home.
It makes the other person think you respect them by feeling like they have someone who is invested in their problems. And while some may interpret this as rude, if someone hasn't earned your respect, it's just protecting your peace.
2. 'I see where you're coming from'
During a tense conversation, someone may use this phrase but accompany it with a "but." It's a gentle way of saying you agree, but also sort of disagree.
According to communication expert Melody Stanford Martin, a very important step of disagreeing with somebody is to acknowledge their side first. It's so the other person doesn't feel completely disregarded. So, even if you don't respect them, it disguises your dislike of them by making you seem interested in their opinion.
3. 'You're entitled to your opinion'
This phrase makes people think you respect them. It lets them believe that you don't agree with them, but still think they have every right to hold certain beliefs.
When you disagree with someone you actually respect, you can usually have an actual conversation about it. But by saying "you're entitled to your opinion," it effectively shuts down any communication.
People who don't have your respect don't deserve to have a long, drawn out conversation. And saying this is often enough to make them go away.
4. 'I'm sorry you feel that way'
By saying "I'm sorry you feel that way," it makes other people respect you, while you're actually just buying time to think of something. You're not really apologizing, even if it seems that way.
You're just saying you're sorry they feel that way, while not taking any accountability. Normally, not taking accountability is a red flag, but when you're dealing with somebody you don't respect, this is a perfect response.
5. 'If that's what you want'
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When somebody is making a decision, this is a sneaky way of making them believe their choice is the right one. However, below the surface, it reeks of disapproval and judgment.
By saying "if that's what you want," you're letting them make the final decision, but you're layering it with hesitation and doubt. It often means that you disagree with them but are removing any responsibility from yourself.
6. 'I was just trying to help'
When you say this, you're making people think you respect them by offering some assistance. But when you really think about it, how much were you actually trying to help? This phrase is a simple way to deflect blame.
It lets you position yourself in a positive light, as a good person who had pure intentions. You may even have subtle body language hints, such as making eye contact and standing tall, that convince the other person you're acting out of respect.
But, in the end, you know it's not true.
7. 'No offense, but...'
When someone says "no offense," it's almost always followed by something offensive. In this case, you may say it in a conversation where you and another person have differing views. But rather than calling them out in an obvious way, this lets them think you respect them enough to correct them.
According to psychologist Jennifer L. Keluskar, even the most brief encounters with rude people can negatively affect your day and overall mood. With that in mind, this phrase is a way to placate the situation and leave the conversation without escalating tensions.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
