You Can Usually Tell How Smart Someone Is By The Questions They Ask In Casual Conversation
GaudiLab / Shutterstock A lot of people don’t feel comfortable asking questions because they think it makes them look less intelligent by highlighting what they don’t know.
That isn’t true at all, though. Questions are a powerful way to strengthen relationships, so they shouldn’t be overlooked. The content of those questions also offers a lot of insight into how smart someone is.
Being curious and willing to ask questions is a sign of just how smart someone is.
Instead of signaling that someone isn’t knowledgeable, asking questions actually shows how eager they are to learn more. Writer Maverick Noelle addressed this in an Instagram reel, which she began by saying, “A clear sign that someone overestimates their intellectual capacity is their relationship with curiosity or lack thereof.”
Many people try to become smarter, but she explained that only those who truly are understand what that actually means. “Very wise and intelligent people understand and are familiar with curiosity in the sense that you will essentially never stop having questions,” she continued.
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No one can truthfully claim to be an expert on absolutely everything, and Noelle said that the way people react to this fact is the best indicator not only of how smart they are, but also how they feel about their intelligence.
“I feel like a lot of people who base their value on their intellect are inherently insecure,” she added. “You don’t need to prove anything about yourself that you are secure and confident in, truly.”
The smartest people ask questions about everything, including things they already know, because they want to grow as people.
It sounds kind of harsh, but someone who acts like they know everything probably isn’t particularly smart at all. True intelligence means you know there’s so much more to learn, and you actually want to do that and will do what it takes to get there.
This is part of a concept called intellectual humility. People who have high levels of intellectual humility readily admit that they can’t possibly know everything, and that some of the things they think they do know might not be true because of the way their personal beliefs shape their thoughts.
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If someone has intellectual humility, they usually want to learn more in general, including about why people disagree with them. Instead of being afraid of curiosity, they embrace it because they know it’s one of the best ways to solve problems and work with others, whether they agree with them or not.
This ties into Noelle’s point about people who “try to assert intellectual dominance over others to treat curiosity that you deem to be obvious or common knowledge as a nuisance.” Sometimes even asking questions about the things someone already knows can give them a new perspective that shows them what they thought was obvious really wasn’t.
Only insecure people are afraid of learning more, or maybe even being wrong.
Even when they have perfectly reasonable questions, they don’t ask them because they don’t want to look like a failure. Clinical psychologist Aimee Daramus, PsyD, said this is what lies at the heart of all insecurity.
People who struggle with insecurity don’t handle criticism well. They usually either take it too personally, or they refuse to believe it’s true. Both approaches are rooted in wanting other people’s approval, which they think they won’t have if they ask questions that prove they don’t know it all.
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The interesting thing is that people usually admire and respect anyone who’s willing to admit they’re wrong or who’s open to new ideas. They’re more likely to validate the people who ask questions, which puts everyone else at a constant disadvantage.
The truth is that really smart people don’t think they know everything, and they don’t pretend that they do. They ask questions with open curiosity because they want to learn instead of just trying to look impressive.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
