Mom Worried That She Can't Trust Her Husband Around Their Baby After Noticing His Late-Night Habit With Their 4-Month-Old
Halfpoint | Shutterstock A new mom admitted that she doesn't know if she can trust her husband, who has been acting erratically in recent months, after he left their 4-month-old unattended on the changing table while he went to the bathroom.
In a Reddit post about her dilemma, she explained that she always thought her husband would be the most amazing dad ever. But she's recently started second-guessing that after his behavior suggests he isn't enjoying parenthood much at all. The sleep deprivation has made him not just careless, but also angry, and she started questioning if he even likes his son at all.
A mom said she can't trust her husband after he left their 4-month-old unattended on a changing table in the middle of the night.
"My husband has always been amazing, very loving and gentle. But since having a baby my opinion of him has really changed. Going through all the sleep deprivation makes him cranky/angry when he’s tired. I can get like this too so I don’t mind that —what I mind is that he directs this at our baby," she began in her Reddit post.
She explained that when it's her husband's turn to get up, he'll be much rougher with their baby because he's so tired and cranky. She noticed that he'll slam doors around their house while holding him and not pay attention. He won't properly support his head either. She's even had to ask him, on multiple occasions, to be a lot nicer to their son.
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"I’ve even asked if he likes our son because sometimes I really can’t tell. On a good day he’s on his phone and barely paying attention to him. Our baby is 4 months old and he got up with him last night and left him on the diaper changer while he went to the restroom," she continued.
The mom was horrified when she saw that her husband hadn't even secured their son to the changing table before leaving him alone.
She recalled that one night she got up to pump and went to check on their son. However, she noticed that her husband had left the baby on the changing table, unstrapped, to use the bathroom. Their son knows how to roll over, and if he had decided to do it in that moment, the baby surely would've been hurt.
"I feel like I’m going crazy because how can he be doing this. I obviously picked up our son and took over. I confronted him and he started yelling at me saying he was only going to be gone for 2 minutes. Our son’s crib is literally right next to the changer. He could’ve taken 5 seconds to lay him in his crib."
Her husband had thought she was fast asleep and was shocked that he had been discovered, which made her wonder if his negligence was a regular occurrence. She admitted she's now struggling with leaving her husband alone with their baby and with navigating this situation because she doesn't have time to be the only one watching their son.
Becoming a sleep deprived new parent can be overwhelming.
Her husband's behavior regarding their baby is definitely concerning, but becoming a new parent can bring out sides of people you may not have seen before. Sleep deprivation, for example, isn't always just about being tired. It can mess with your patience and judgment. You might find yourself doing something you normally wouldn't if you were getting a good night's rest.
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"Learning to manage the emotional load and emotional responsibility as a parent takes time, effort, and is becoming a lot more prevalent in today’s society," explained licensed clinical psychologist Amber Thornton, Psy.D. "While it holds many significant benefits for the rising generation, it comes at a cost for many parents who report high levels of emotional burnout."
There definitely needs to be a conversation between this wife and her husband about his behavior towards their son. If he's experiencing emotional burnout, there needs to be steps to support him so incidents like the baby-changing table mishap don't happen again.
Becoming a parent for the first time can be a difficult journey to acclimate to, but there are so many resources out there to help both struggling moms and dads. At the very least, they should be leaning on each other when things get particularly difficult.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
