Stay-At-Home Dad Says He Can Tell How Good Of A Father & Husband A Man Is Just By Asking About His Hobbies
fizkes | Shutterstock A stay-at-home dad named Own Squires said he's got a sixth sense when it comes to how good a father and husband a man is, and it's all about hobbies. The dad said he can spot when a husband and father is dedicated and present in the home based solely on how he spends his free time.
While we, as a society, have improved on a lot of things regarding gender roles and the expectations of both men and women, when it comes to parenting and sharing the load, there still seems to be a discrepancy. For many moms, whether they're working or stay-at-home, they're the ones doing most of the childcare and handling all the responsibilities while their husbands, boyfriends, or co-parents pursue their fun hobbies and lives outside of being a dad.
A stay-at-home dad said he can tell how good a father and husband a man is by asking about his hobbies.
"Being a stay-at-home dad the last five years has caused me to grow resentful toward other men. I know I'm gonna catch some heat for this, but I feel like, as a guy, the more accomplished you are, the more achievements you have, the more hobbies you're involved in, the better shape you're in, the more likely you aren't [trash]," insisted Squires at the start of his video.
He explained that while this doesn't apply to all men, the vast majority follow this mindset to define themselves as men in the first place. But for Squires, being a stay-at-home dad has allowed him to see through this mask that most men wear.
Squires admitted that he'll have a brief interaction with a dad and can quickly tell that the mom is doing most of the work in the household. But when he's asked about what he does and says that he's a stay-at-home dad, Squires claimed that he can sense the judgment.
Most fathers and husbands have hobbies that only center them.
Squires pointed out that when he's having conversations with fathers and husbands about their hobbies, only to hear that they do things that are only bringing them enjoyment, like golf, it still makes them the main character. While it's important for parents to have hobbies and interests outside of being a parent, there's still a difference between having a healthy outlet and just completely checking out of family life.
Ask a mom about her hobbies, and they usually center on activities that keep her housebound, like baking, art, and cooking. These are activities that contribute to the household. They are activities that can be done with kids or even just with kids present. Whereas men's hobbies are often centered on activities they need to "get a much-needed break," like playing golf or going to the gym. These are solo hobbies.
The sad thing is, when moms pursue their own solo hobbies or any pleasure activity that takes them away from being a wife and mother, they are judged in the same way Squires is judged for being a stay-at-home dad. She is labeled selfish, a bad mom, a negligent wife, and a woman who puts her own needs above the family.
Men are applauded for doing the bare minimum when it comes to parenting.
In a survey from the Pew Research Center, an estimated 63% of dads say they spend too little time with their kids, and a much smaller share (36%) say they spend the right amount of time with them. Moms, on the other hand, still do more of the child care and are more likely than dads to say they are satisfied with the amount of time they spend with their kids. About half (53%) say this, while only 35% say they spend too little time with their children.
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"Sitting in this role just forces you to see how men collectively, myself included, have dropped the ball for generations in terms of supporting our wives and our children," Squires continued. "Women have been lonely for centuries, and we've made fun of them for it. But now the men are lonely, and women are no longer choosing men."
At the end of the day, dads, whether they're working full-time or stay-at-home like Squires, should still prioritize showing up in the ways that matter to them and their family. There's nothing wrong with playing golf as a hobby, but maybe it should be a family outing instead of an activity that is used as an escape that moms rarely ever get.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
