If You Notice These 11 Things In A Couple’s Kitchen, They’re Arguing Way More Than They Say
The mess in their kitchen says way more than they do.
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock While things in a couple’s kitchen alone may not signal whether or not the couple argues more than they say they do, they often symbolize deeper issues that the couple is dealing with. Some of these deeper issues can cause a couple to argue about household duties, but really be upset about the struggles they are facing in their relationship.
If they do not feel comfortable discussing how they really feel and what is really bothering them, they will try to find another outlet that still allows them to display and get out their feelings of frustration. If the couple refuses to focus on developing healthier habits and allowing for open communication, they will likely continue to argue and run into conflicts that are hard to resolve.
If you notice these 11 things in a couple’s kitchen, they’re arguing way more than they say:
1. A sink full of dirty dishes
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If you constantly notice a sink full of dirty dishes in a couple’s kitchen, they may argue more often than they say they do. This could symbolize the unequal effort they each feel within the relationship and feelings that needs are being unmet.
“The dirty dishes of doom,” as Phil Stark, a licensed marriage and family therapist, would call it, can activate anger in a partner. When they pass by the piles of dirty dishes in the sink, it causes them to be filled with rage, and they may begin arguing with their partner about the dishes. However, it is usually something deeper that they are really upset about. The dirty dishes just so happened to trigger these feelings.
2. An overflowing trash can
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When you see an overflowing trash can in a couple’s kitchen, they may argue often, even if they claim not to. While the overflowing trash can alone may not be a definitive sign that the couple argues a lot, it can symbolize that each partner may be feeling neglected within the relationship.
If the trash is constantly overflowing, there may be a communication error within the relationship. If they cannot effectively communicate about household chores, it is highly unlikely that they can talk about their emotions and other difficult topics within the relationship. This may leave each person feeling neglected, similarly to the way the trash can seems neglected, and if nothing changes, this neglect and poor communication will lead to several arguments.
3. Cluttered countertops
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If you see cluttered countertops in a couple’s kitchen, they may argue a lot more than they say they do. If both partners have two different definitions of cleanliness, cluttered spaces like this may cause them to argue about feeling a lack of respect within the relationship.
Not only will they argue about not feeling like their partner respects their shared space, but also that they do not respect the wants of one of the partners. Conflicts are also more likely to arise if one of the partners feels emotional tension due to being in a cluttered environment. If this is the case, these anxious and stressful feelings may develop into arguments.
4. Two different kinds of milk
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While it may not seem very significant, finding two different kinds of milk in a couple’s kitchen may actually signal that they argue more than they’d like to let on. Having two different preferences in milk may be a metaphor for the incompatible and minor, yet persistent differences within the relationship.
If they also have trouble seeing eye to eye on bigger matters, they are likely to experience conflict due to this. “While striking similarities can present their group of issues, major differences in morals and values can create friction between couples leading a certain lifestyle or raising children,” according to Regain, a team of licensed therapists who are dedicated to improving relationships through individual and couples therapy.
Compromise would typically be the solution for combating severe differences in a relationship; however, if the couple cannot even compromise about milk, they may struggle to compromise on bigger issues.
5. A dull kitchen knife
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When you notice dull kitchen knives in a couple’s kitchen, it may symbolize that they argue often. This may metaphorically show the neglect, lack of care, and miscommunication that goes on within their relationship.
A couple not even taking the time to sharpen a dull kitchen knife may signal that they do not spend time nurturing their relationship and put effort into deepening the connection. It may also cause the couple to argue often. This argument may initially start over the knives or other household items, but quickly escalates to being about deeper issues within the relationship.
6. Open drawers and cabinets
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Finding open drawers and cabinets in a couple’s kitchen may signal that they argue more than they may seem to. Household annoyances like this can often cause couples to argue.
The argument may start out pertaining to the drawers and cabinets, but if there are deeper issues in the relationship, the conflict may start to become more about those things instead. This could be about one partner feeling like there is a lack of respect and responsibility, or that poor communication makes them feel invalidated and like they are not being heard.
7. A wet kitchen towel piled on the counter
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If you notice a wet kitchen towel piled on the counter in a couple’s kitchen, they might argue a lot. Initially, this argument may start because one partner notices the towel and feels like the workload around their home is unequal.
According to Rancho Counseling, a team of counselors and therapists who provide couples and individual therapy, couples may seem like they are mainly arguing over household duties and feelings that the workload is too heavily placed on one person over the other, but the reality is that there is a bigger problem in their relationship. If they feel like they cannot openly discuss things with their partner, arguments about wet kitchen towels being misplaced will be the way a couple gets their frustration out.
8. An incorrectly loaded dishwasher
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When you notice that in a couple’s kitchen, there is an incorrectly loaded dishwasher, it may be a sign that they argue very often. This may symbolize some of the deeper issues they have in their relationship, like cooperation and their ability to work together.
When an everyday, household task like loading the dishwasher still causes a couple to have communication issues and difficulty working together, it is a sign that they likely struggle with these things in other aspects of their relationship, too. When conflict arises over this, it is almost always over something deeper.
9. Expired food in the fridge
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If you find expired food in a couple’s fridge, they may be hiding the fact that they argue a lot. While the expired food alone is not enough to know for a fact if a couple argues often, it can be a sign of potential issues they are facing in their relationship.
If they struggle with effectively communicating with one another or determining what the division of labor should be like around the house, they may endure more conflicts. This may leave each partner feeling resentment toward the other because they always feel unheard and like there is a lack of responsibility within their relationship.
10. Passive-aggressive notes left on fridge
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If you see passive-aggressive notes left on the fridge in a couple’s kitchen, they most likely fight more than they want to say. This is an example of indirect communication and can be a sign of unresolved resentment that still lingers in the relationship.
Passive-aggressive communication can be very confusing and can leave partners in the relationship feeling frustrated, unheard, and disrespected. It is not an effective way of talking through issues with a partner and usually ends up leading to more conflict in the future that also goes unresolved.
11. A calendar full of separate plans
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When you notice a calendar filled with plans that a couple does separately in their kitchen, it may be a sign that they have more conflicts than they would like to admit to. The couple may struggle with having conflicting priorities.
If the majority of their time is spent without one another on purpose, it may signal that they do not align with their common interests or that there is an emotional disconnect. While many of these things do not alone signal that a couple argues a lot, it is crucial to look at the potential symbolic meaning behind these things as well as the dynamic of the couple.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
