‘My Husband Feels I Don’t Contribute Enough’ — Married Couple Making $780,000 A Year Can’t Agree On How To Split Bills
Her husband claimed that he can't keep supporting her lifestyle without her contributing more, even though he earns more.
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock A married couple is having trouble figuring out the best way to divide their finances and make sure the bills are being taken care of, and it's sparked a bit of a reaction.
Posting online, a woman admitted that her husband makes $700,000 a year while she makes $80,000. Despite the fact that her husband makes much more than she does, he insisted that certain expenses should just be covered solely by her, rather than him chipping in at all.
Their circumstances have elicited mixed reactions from people online, who had a lot to say about the way that the couple was handling their money and the fact that her husband may not be the most supportive person. The fact is, regardless of how financially secure a couple may be, financial compatibility still plays a huge role in relationship satisfaction and success.
A married couple making $780,000 a year can't agree on how to split bills.
Just Life | Shutterstock
"I contribute $1000 per month and he contributes $6000 to our joint account to pay bills. Any extra bills and trips and going out, he pays," she began in her Reddit post. "My husband feels I don’t contribute enough to our income and wants me to make more money. He feels it is unfair that he pays 90% of our bills and covers extra that come up. He asks me what am I providing for him in return for him paying for most of our expenses."
She explained that they don't have any kids, and when it comes to certain household responsibilities like cooking, she does most of the work. She's also the one doing most of the rest of their chores and the basic running of the household. The only things he does are taking out the garbage and scooping out their cat's litter box.
He argued that her cooking, organizing the house, filing the taxes, and keeping up with the errands needed for the house aren't enough to justify her not being responsible for more of the expenses. He questioned why he should be the one paying for her life if she's not "bringing anything else to the table."
The husband insisted that his money should be something he gets to control.
"He doesn’t want to combine our income and doesn’t want him to control my income and keep our finances separate. He wants me to contribute $1000 towards monthly bills but the rest of my income he told me to do how I please," she continued.
"He says he already pays for everything anyway, it’s no different if expenses are paid from household income vs his income. Is this reasonable? Because then how can we come up with how much to save and invest as our retirement?"
Considering the two are married, their finances should be something that they work on together, not something that's being treated like a contract. Marriage isn't two people living completely separate financial lives while living under the same roof. As one commenter noted, "Seems like you guys are business partners more than life partners."
What's truly concerning, however, is the fact that this couple has been married for over 10 years and they have never discussed finances until now. Yes, his income increased drastically after they got married, but she pointed out that after he finished his residency (he's a doctor), he was earning $600k, and that was 2 years after they were married. This should have been something they discussed before even walking down the aisle.
Regardless of how much money a couple earns, financial compatibility plays a huge role in relationship success.
Large income gaps between spouses aren't exactly uncommon, but they can be a major source of discord, especially if they haven't been discussed. A 2024 survey by HelloPrenup found that the average couple has a $250k difference in net worth. Guess what happens if finances aren't discussed and retirement planning isn't an ongoing conversation? Yup, resentment brews.
That's exactly what seems to be going on with this married couple. They've never really talked about their finances because it didn't play a huge role in their lives when she was outearning him while he was still a medical resident. Just because they make a lot of money doesn't mean they aren't living beyond their means, either. There's really so much we don't know about this couple.
Talking about money at every stage of a relationship and continuing to talk about money throughout a marriage is more important than ever, according to Georgina Sturmer (BACP), a UK-based counselor, because, as she explained, our modern money issues are much different nowadays.
She told VeryWellMind, “Modern life feels quite different now. Dual-income families, freelancing, zero-hours contracts, credit cards, disposable spending, consumer culture. I would imagine that this means that there is more scope for conflict over spending decisions, as our roles and incomes are constantly shifting.”
To put it simply: This couple needs to sit down and talk about their finances. He makes much more money than his wife does; his reasoning doesn't seem logical if we go solely off his wife's Reddit post. Therein lies the problem, however. We are only getting one side of the financial story. It could be that he is controlling, resentful, and checked out of the marriage. It could also be that his wife has racked up astronomical credit card debt because she spends money without a care in the world.
It's much more likely that there is a disconnect between spouses and their financial styles. That can only be resolved by talking about what they both want for the future. That includes what they expect to save. What they expect to spend each month. What they should each be responsible for in terms of the household.
One thing they should certainly not be doing is keeping score. They should both be working together toward a common goal, regardless of earnings.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
