If You Heard These 2 Phrases As A Kid, Psychology Says You’re An Incredibly Resilient Adult
A parent's words have more of an impact than many people realize.
PeopleImages | Shutterstock As children, our parents instill certain values and morals that follow us into adulthood and truly shape the type of person we become. In a TikTok video, a content creator confirmed this, sharing that there are two specific phrases that parents can say to their children that can help them become incredibly resilient adults.
According to psychology, these phrases are usually the messages that, when you grow up hearing them, will eventually stick. They become part of the way you encourage yourself and the way you handle moments of stress, even.
If you heard the phrases 'I can do hard things' and 'I'm a great problem-solver' as a kid, you're an incredibly resilient adult.
"Neuroscience fact: most moms don't know about this one. But if mom started saying 'I can do hard things' and 'I'm a great problem-solver' out loud around the house within weeks, her little ones would be repeating these phrases when they struggle," the TikTok content creator began in his video.
He explained that the self-talk parents use around their children helps foster their own inner voices as well. Explaining the neuroscience behind it, children's developing brains are constantly recording what you say to them and also what you say to yourself.
When children hear their parents say, “I can do hard things” or “I'm a great problem solver," their mirror neurons are programming the same thought patterns into their neural networks. So, parents should really start speaking positively about themselves, especially when their kids are around.
Parents who do their own inner work can greatly help their kids develop self-esteem and confidence.
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Our parents are usually the first teachers that we have when it comes to how we talk to ourselves and handle life's challenges. We're absorbing their words and their reactions to stress. If your parents were overly critical of themselves and would say quite self-deprecating things, you might end up internalizing those same words as an adult. The same applies if your parents had more positive things to say about themselves.
That's why parents are encouraged to do the work and heal their own trauma because more often than not, that trauma can be passed down to their kids. Changing the way you talk to yourself isn't just a benefit to you; it also creates a ripple effect.
"As keen observers, our children notice our behaviors toward others as well as how we treat ourselves. This includes things like the tense tone in which we speak to our partner, the disgust we express at the messy condition of the house, the impatience we have getting ready in the morning, the miserable expression on display when we look in the mirror, or the critical comments we make about ourselves," explained clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone.
Firestone continued, pointing out that if the language and tone kids hear is positive, however, that becomes motivation. We sometimes don't realize that being our own worst enemy has a greater impact on the people around us. When you are kind to yourself, however, that kindness spreads.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
