Couples Fight More About This Mundane Household Chore Than Childcare, According To A Survey
It all comes down to who's doing more mental labor.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock If you had to guess what couples fight about most, what would you pick? Probably something like money and finances, or the workload of caring for the kids, right? And you wouldn't exactly be wrong. Study after study has shown that these issues can cause huge rifts, not to mention trips to a divorce lawyer.
But a new survey had an unexpected finding when it comes to the number one bugaboo among husbands and wives, and while it's not exactly what most of us would probably guess, it sure does make an awful lot of sense.
Couples fight more about the garbage than any other household chore.
Recycling company Clear Drop asked 800 adults living with a partner or spouse about their biggest bugaboos and big fight-starters, and the results landed on the usual things we all expect: household chores, grocery shopping, and childcare.
But what was surprising was how these bones of contention ranked against one another. Unsurprisingly, "cleaning" took the top spot, which is no shock given the wealth of statistics showing women do vastly more housework than men even in the most egalitarian marriages.
Laundry and cooking ranked highly, too, at 13% and 11%, respectively. But next up was something unexpected: Taking out the garbage, which ranked higher, if you can believe it, than fights about childcare, with 52% of couples saying they've fought about the garbage and recycling.
Africa images | Canva Pro
The survey found that men and women have vastly different approaches to garbage and recycling.
So what's behind all this trash can drama? Well, it seems that men and women have very different perspectives on this whole thing. For one, the garbage chores seem to be heavily gendered.
Most couples surveyed said that in their homes, it was the man's job to take out the garbage, but the woman's job to do the "mental labor" part of the chore, the sorting of recyclables from trash. And if you've ever gotten in an argument with your partner about what does and does not belong in the recycling bin, you're likely nodding your head right now.
The survey found that this is partly because women care more about the environmental impact of recycling. Clear Drop found they feel 1.5 times more guilt, for instance, about not recycling plastic, a 60/40 split with men.
This is despite the fact that the majority of couples don't trust America's recycling systems, and women are even more skeptical about whether things actually get recycled than men are. That's a valid skepticism, by the way. Environmental groups estimate that only 21% of American recyclables actually get recycled, in part because the Chinese market for American recyclables, the biggest in the world, collapsed years ago.
In any case, this all results in women doing 54% more work related to sorting recyclables from trash and composting food scraps, but like so much of the work women do at home, it goes largely unnoticed, getting six times less appreciation than doing the cooking, for example.
Experts recommended a few tips to avoid arguments about garbage and recycling.
So if most of our recyclables aren't getting recycled, we can just stop caring, throw it all in the trash, and end the arguments, right? No! Stop being lazy, the Earth is literally dying! Bob Render, Clear Drop’s resident recycling expert, had a few pointers that could make the chore simpler so couples can avoid getting heated about it.
For starters, keeping your recycling bin organized by flattening all boxes, nesting things together, and removing things like labels, keeps your recycling bin organized and fills it up slowly. This means no getting exasperated that the bin is too full and throwing things in the trash, and then having to argue about it later.
Render also suggested freezing food scraps so they don't stink, which will also help keep your compost bin from filling up too fast and causing annoying arguments about taking it out. Throwing them in the freezer can help you skate by till pick-up day without getting tetchy.
As for appreciating the mental labor of managing the garbage just as much as the hubby hefting the bag out to the curb? Well, there's no cure for that, sadly, but it's worth mentioning that if everything women typically do around the house, including mental labor, were charged at the same rates professionals get, it would amount to a six-figure salary. Credit where it's due!
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
